Hey friends, Sammi here - now an ex-wedding venue employee that has brought you some advice from the inside perspective. I hope you are doing ok. I lost my job a month ago - the most experienced staff are staying on, but my position had to go. It was sad but not a surprise, and thankfully I am doing fine. I'm sure a lot of you are in the same situation. It's definitely a tough time for relationships. Having had a lot of time to think with all this free time, I did my best to turn lemons into lemonade and think about how the crisis, lockdowns, and delays in wedding plans can help you get ready for your married life, long after the wedding celebration is over.
MONEY
It's well known that money issues can severely stress a relationship. There's a good chance that you and your partner's financial situations have changed recently, and not for the better. This is not only an important time to figure out how your finances need to change, but also how you will deal with them as a married couple. When I was let go, I was not only stressed and sad, I had to have some difficult discussions with my husband. He's supportive of course, but I'm an independent woman used to having my own income. We had to look at the bills I was paying for, and the added cost of health insurance for me on his plan, and see what I could realistically pay for. For you two, there could be other things that this crisis has brought into focus, like establishing an emergency fund, or how you will handle things if one (or both ) of you loses their job after you're married (for example, what part of your budget would you agree to cut back?). It's important to be practical, but it's also emotionally loaded. Try to discuss it when you're feeling grounded and give yourself some space and come back to it if it gets too intense.
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
Wedding planning can definitely be stressful, and when the COVID crisis really landed, I had to counsel quite a few couples through the decision to postpone. I was also outrageously flamed in this forum for dishing very practical advice about your contractual rights and responsibilities when it comes to cancellations - but you can search past posts if you want that tea!
Needless to say, COVID adds a whole other realm of emotional stress, uncertainty and fear on top of any interrupted wedding or honeymoon plans. You and your partner may be or have been sick, in the hospital, be worried to death about family, or be at-risk essential workers when just leaving the house is a threat to your wellness and safety. COVID is a stressor that few people may have encountered in their lifetime, but how you handle it together can be an opportunity to actually strengthen your relationship so that you can handle future stressful situations with a game plan. How do you communicate your needs to your partner? What can your partner do with words and actions to support you emotionally? How can you give each other space if you are living together under lockdown? How can you make compromises you might not have made before? How can you appreciate your partner for what they can do for you under these circumstances? I'm spending more time at home with my husband because he's working from home, so I've done my best to give him his own space as well as taking up a much larger share of the household tasks.
Being isolated together is certainly not glamorous or romantic, but neither are many aspects of long-term marriage. As hard as this period is, it's possible you can come through as a stronger unit.
I hope everyone is hanging in there, and wish you all the best for you and your family's health.
