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Brittany
Dedicated December 2021

Inviting boss & coworkers

Brittany, on July 21, 2021 at 6:49 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
When I started planning my wedding I wasn’t working, we booked the venue and came up with our guest count during that time. A few months later I started my job and had about a year and a half till my wedding. But then we postponed a year, and since then I have grown close with some of these people, but I’d have to pick and choose. I am on good terms with my bosses and have been told you are supposed to invite them but I am unsure. Another issue is my fiancé has been moved into a larger team at work all of who were very supportive during a recent family tragedy and we don’t even have the space for all of them. I feel like people keep dropping hints that they want to attend but I’m unsure what to do. I know I could add them in the B list and see who can attend but it’s turning into a pretty long list. Would love thoughts on the etiquette when it comes to inviting work friends/bosses.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Brittany, on August 25, 2021 at 5:48 PM
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    There's no etiquette rule for inviting coworkers and bosses that I have ever heard (other than something that applies to any team/group, like: don't talk about the event in front of people who are not invited; invite all or none of small, tight knit groups; make sure you also have enough room to account for their significant others in your guest list). Who is telling you you are supposed to invite your bosses?

    The practical guidance I like, is to only invite people that you are friends with outside of work. The reason for this is because of how easy it is to lose touch with former coworkers once someone switches jobs, unless you have a real friendship in your personal lives. If these aren't people who will be in your life for many years to come, why would you want them at your wedding?

    Edited to add: people dropping hints for an invitation is no reason to invite them. But it might mean you are talking about your wedding too much at work.

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  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
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    I’m personally not inviting anyone from work unless we have a relationship outside of the office, which is only one person for me. I’m on a team of about 20 people and can’t/don’t want to invite them all. I’m someone who prefers to keep personal and work life separate. I would feel awkward if someone from my office invited me to their wedding honestly.
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  • Brittany
    Dedicated December 2021
    Brittany ·
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    I try not to but I took the worst hours to help out another team member, which means if I have wedding planning to do we need to rework the hours and they tend to be understanding when it comes to wedding stuff so I tell them where I going which leads to questions. Which is another reason I kinda feel bad. But on the other hand you have a point about if we are friends outside of work, I got laid off for 7 months and some of these people I didn’t speak to.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Don’t invite them unless you socialize outside of work. Please don’t have a B list either.
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  • Brittany
    Dedicated December 2021
    Brittany ·
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    Yea, I think I’m coming to that conclusion. Why no B list? I hate calling it that but there are some people that are on our B list strictly bc of timing. They have stepped up for my fiancé and therefore we want to include them, however it’s outside of the budget. So we have to wait and see.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    A B list is considered impolite because people know they are not your first choice. While it may not be your intention, they view themselves as an afterthought because the invite arrived last minute and many would rather not be invited in that case.


    You can always entertain them at another time down the road when you can afford to host all the coworkers because your wedding is not the only event you will host as a married couple.
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  • Emilia
    Super June 2019
    Emilia ·
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    Hi ! My husband invited only one coworker, but it was his friend before they worked together. I did invite my 5 closest colleagues with spouses, including 2 bosses. For the rest of our coworkers-friends we organised a party at home, one week after the wedding.

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  • Brittany
    Dedicated December 2021
    Brittany ·
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    Issue has resolved itself, got a new job. If I stay in touch with anyone from this job and feel like I should extend an invite I will, if not then I invite no one.

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