Invites to after dinner for dancing and drinks?

It’s not something I would personally do. I think it comes across as we would love to celebrate with you but not enough to want to pay to feed you. And people always say they don’t expect gifts but I’ve seen quite a few posts on here of people only invited to dancing, but struggling with what to bring as a gift because they feel second tier but don’t want to show up empty handed. If your mind is already made up I’m sure there are invitation templates online. Definitely do invitations because I would assume you would need a headcount for the bar tab.

I don't think the overall sentiment that it's rude to invite people to the very end of event where you don't have to host them at all has changed. I think some brides go all "it's your day you do you girl!!!" and decide just to ignore whether it's rude or not. People care more about "their day" then treating the people they care about with respect.

If you're stuck on doing this maybe put on the invite "I don't care about you enough to treat you to a meal but I'd really like a gift from you" because no matter what you write, that is what the invite to "after dinner dancing" is going to convey.

Sorry.

I still think it's tacky. If someone is invited to anything wedding related, they need to be invited to the reception. But it all depends on your office. Is this normal practice there? I'm just inviting my office to our wedding because we are close. But my fiance isn't inviting his, it's a larger office and they aren't as close. So they won't be invited to anything wedding related.

I personally wouldn't do this either. If you've been reading that far back, I'm sure you've come across "A" and "B" list discussions as well. If you're inviting your guests to your reception post dinner, that screams "B list" to me, and I would much rather just include everyone in the first place.

Would you feel guilty, or did you, if your work colleagues threw you a shower but didn't invite them? Just curious!

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Nah, a work shower is different than a typical bridal shower. Honestly, zero guilt about not inviting my colleagues after the work shower.

Ok- Thanks everyone! That was my catalyst for inviting them to at least some part of the day because they went out of their way to do something for me.

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No, not at all. I genuinely believe a work shower and a typical bridal shower are different.

Still super tacky. “Hey come celebrate with us, but not the part we have to pay for.” You can say there’s no expectation of gifts, but most people with any manners are going to bring one anyway. I personally wouldn’t attend and would be offended.

View Quoted Comment I'll be the odd one out.. but concidering their just work friends I see nothing wrong with this. What I would do is just ask your work friends ( cuz they may think the same thing as the other people responding to your post or they might think like me ...)

I don't think the general sentiment that this is rude has changed. It is still considered rude to invite certain people to parts of a wedding and not the entire event. You don't need to invite your coworkers just because they throw you a shower at work. It is common for workplaces to throw showers for a coworker but there is no expectation they should be invited to the wedding.

Hi, have it on a different day as the wedding. Maybe the week after the honeymoon. Also; maybe include or invite some people who wanted to come to the wedding hut didn’t come because they had conflicting schedules (not the people who wasn’t coming anyways, or you were on the fence , but the people who would have came but it was during the vacation time ). To make it less arkward if you have a work bestie ask them to send the invite out , so it looks like they are throwing something to celebrate you . That way, she can even include it’s a Dutch event. This can even be done before the wedding . She or he can send out a generic work email that says before XYZ gets hitched let’s go out for dancing and drinks

I totally understand why some people find it tacky however, I am having a very small intimate wedding of 50 and I have a lot of coworkers and friends who want to celebrate … so I asked the caterer if they could have passing hors d’oeuvres open bar and desserts still flowing after dinner for two hours so I’m inviting guest for that portion and it says so on the invite and so far it’s been a great response … but I do think the guest that are coming to the after celebration should not be expected to give gifts

In the UK this is SUPER common. It's an evening guest, usually there's some food served later in the evening, the guests are obviously still going to enjoy themselves - it's a party! I think it's perfect for colleagues, or people who may like to celebrate with you but you're not super close with. Go for it! If they're offended, they can rsvp no!