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Just Said Yes June 2024

I’m stuck planning my own bachelorette party and i feel weird about it…

Melanie, on March 17, 2024 at 9:32 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 6
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Hi ladies!


So I’m getting married on June 1st, 2024 and I’m so excited for it! I asked my cousin (who’s my maid of honor) if April 19-21 worked for her and if she’d be willing to plan a bachelorette party for me and she said sure! Well after a few weeks, she couldn’t get a lot of the other bridesmaids to help her. She only had one bridesmaid help her and they both eventually said that it was too much work for them to take on. So when that fell through I asked another bridesmaid of mine if she would be willing to plan a bachelorette party for me and she also said yes initially. Well the same thing happened to her where she ran into a lot of trouble getting help from the other bridesmaids and she also told me that this was too much work to do on her own and she politely said that she couldn’t do it. After being told by three bridesmaids that they would plan a party for me, only to back out a short time later, I decided that I was going to plan it myself and I got excited about it (and I still am), but after talking with my fiancé about it and after looking through every wedding forum I could find, I suddenly started feeling very weird about it. Like I was in the wrong for deciding to plan my own bachelorette party. And I’m sitting here thinking that I genuinely tried to get my bridesmaids to plan something for me instead because that’s what I’d prefer, but I don’t not want to have a bachelorette party. I don’t know, am I the crazy/wrong one here? All I want is a fun bachelorette party…

6 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on March 22, 2024 at 7:50 PM
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    It's a faux pas to plan a party in your own honour. I'm just wondering if your expectations were too high, in other words were you thinking of a multi-day destination? If so, we do often see a mismatch between what the wedding couple expects and what the wedding party are realistically able to do. Sometimes it's not the planning part, it's the entire expense of it.

    If you want to spend some time with your wedding party, just invite them all out for dinner and drinks or something. Don't call it a bachelorette, just a fun night out.

    ETA: it's also a faux pas to ask people to throw you parties. It might be that the bridesmaids felt pressured to plan this, and on second thought it was too much.

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  • Andrea
    Rockstar January 2024
    Andrea ·
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    Yes, it is a faux pas to host your own bachelorette party. I wonder why everyone said it was too much work for them. Maybe you need to revisit your expectations and consider if you were asking them to do too much. Ultimately it’s them choosing to host something to honor you. It may be disappointing when it’s not exactly what you pictured, but like any other gift you can’t dictate what it is.
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  • S
    Beginner June 2024
    Samantha ·
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    I disagree that it’s too much of a faux pas to plan it yourself. Sometimes you have people from different friend groups living in different areas and it can be hard for others to coordinate or know what would be fun for everyone. However, I do agree that you might want to revisit your expectations as it sounds like multiple bridesmaids felt you were expecting too much. A bachelorette party is supposed to be a fun time to celebrate this change in your life with a small group of just your friends. Focus on that and not the Instagram stories that you see of giant, costly, time-consuming events.
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  • C
    CM ·
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    It absolutely is in poor taste to host a party in your own honor. Bachelorette parties are voluntary and optional, not an entitlement. If people live all over that’s a better justification to skip the imposition altogether, not to plan it yourself. Soliciting others to host is inappropriate for the same reason.
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  • R
    Rockstar
    Rosebud ·
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    Can the 3 people who said it was too much work on their own work together to plan it? How big of a bachelorette are you wanting? I wouldn't plan it yourself but you could offer some help if they really need it.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Can the 3 people who agreed to plan do something super simple and low key like dinner and drinks or bowling or afternoon tea? It can even be the same low key activities done after the rehearsal dinner as generations past used to do and didn’t pay anywhere near what people do now and had a great time. It’s possible that they are overwhelmed based on the Instagram “expectations” that it has to mirror an expensive destination trip like the celebrities do and is not representative of most people’s real life budgets and schedules.
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