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i need advice, please help me!!!

Amanda, on November 1, 2023 at 12:21 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4
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My son is getting married Nov. 4 2023 and he just graduated from Marine Corps boot camp last week. He has only known her for 3 months and as soon as he left for boot camp (after she already agreed to wait until he was finished all of his training in a year) she started planning a wedding and when I said that she agreed to wait, her mother told me that she already spent money on this thing as she stated and this thing was happening no matter what anyone says because she wasn’t loosing money. When I told her that my family likes to have fun, she sent me a message telling me that she was going to hire a bouncer now and that her and her husband were going to be kicking us out and they aren’t afraid to kick our a$&es either. I have no clue where that came from. When I tried to speak to my son about this he just said to me, don’t be starting any drama or problems. I told him that I even had the proof that she said that, he got mad at me and walked out the door. Everything I offered to do or help with, she would either say she didn’t like it and then her daughter (my son’s girlfriend) would tell me that she would tell her the idea and that she came up with it. When I asked about the song for my son and I to dance to, she ignored me and when I asked my son if she was just cutting that out of the dances, he just shrugged his shoulders and said he doesn’t know. I don’t know what to do. I told him that there was not going to be any problems but I know if I go and my family goes, this woman is going to cause problems and I don’t want that for my son. Do I go and just pray this woman is going to act like an adult and a parent or do I talk to my son and explain to him that I don’t want anything bad to happen at this wedding and the fact that she has made it abundantly clear she doesn’t want my family there and that her and her husband are hellbent on getting rid of us or starting a fight like childish baffoons. Can anyone please tell me what I should do? My family doesn’t even want to come to this wedding now because this woman is horrible.

4 Comments

Latest activity by Peyton, on November 1, 2023 at 11:55 PM
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    Tera ·
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    Wow that sounds like a lot.
    You ready tried talking to your son. I recommend not bringing it up to him again. If this women is acting this way, then chances are she may have a history and your son will have to figure it out the hard way.
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  • C
    CM ·
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    Why did you engage with the mother in the first place? Your son obviously agreed to this timeline. While I can absolutely understand your concern considering how little time he's known this woman, It wasn't your place to confront the mother about her daughter saying she had agreed to wait until training was finished.

    I also don't understand the bit about telling the mother you like to have fun at weddings. Did she think you were implying that you all drink way too much or something like that? If the threats were based on that comment and that comment alone, I would be concerned that she's not a very stable person. Otherwise, I would have to think there's a bit more to that story.

    I agree that your son is going to have to learn the hard way, unfortunately. How old is this couple? Why is the mother running the show?

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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    In all honesty, I am also confused why you even contacted your soon to be daugther-in-law's mother. While, I understand that you are concerned that your son his moving too quickly with his fiancee, it's not really your place to contact his fiancee's mother about the timeline. It is up to your son and his fiancee when they get married so whether he agreed to getting married in November or after he finishes training is completely his decision. I can understand why her mother was annoyed that you were inserting yourself into this decision when the choice has already been made and plans are set in motion.

    I also don't understand why you felt the need to tell them you like to have fun at weddings. While I definitely don't agree that the mother or anyone on his fiancee's side should have threatened you, I can understand that maybe they are concerned you and your family's behavior will get out of hand.

    I think you need to step back and let your son make decisions on his own even if you don't agree with them.

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  • P
    Devoted April 2023
    Peyton ·
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    I think the best strategy would be to completely disengage. Any suggestions you offer will be met with criticism and objections. Find out where and when to show up and leave it at that. This sounds like a really terrible situation. Hopefully your son will see what he is getting himself in to and will postpone the wedding.

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