i don't know what to do about my mh

November is quite some time away. There may be some financial setbacks for her right now too. Other than the dresses, what other things/updates are you referring to? When she talks about her relationship is it usually good or bad? She may just be stressed out and going through stuff. Also seeing as how she has a young daughter she may be trying to navigate through all of the challenges that Covid has presented with schooling or extracurricular activities etc. I wouldn’t stress about it too much.

I would reach out and ask if there's something going on with her and if she still wants to be part of the bridal party. Maybe she can't afford the dresses right now but doesn't know how to tell you? November is a good while away so you have some time to deal with the situation. You should go to her with a sympathetic attitude at first, but even though she's your best friend, at some point you'll need to put your foot down for the sake of your wedding and tell her she has to get her dress by X date to get it on time and if she can't, she can attend the wedding as just a guest.

That is frustrating she hasn't gotten back about the dress. However, it seems that she still have plenty of time to order the dress. My bridesmaid dresses were quoted a month to order, but they only took 2 weeks. So there is a chance it might not really take 6 months. If you are concerned and want the dress ordered ASAP, is it possible to ask her for her size and measurements and then you can order it and pay for it now and she can pay you back later?

I know it's custom for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, but I paid for all of my bridesmaids dresses. I had 2 from out of state go to the store to try on the dresses and then they provided me their sizes. 2 went with me to try them on so I could see it in person and then I added a late addition bridesmaid and she just told me what size she would need.

Maybe she has been involved with a wedding before and knows you are better off ordering in June or July for November, so your size does not change, and she knows she will have money then. But she doesn't want to argue, so she says nothing. Bridesmaids dresses come in 2-8 weeks after they are ordered, mostly, occasionally 10 weeks. No one wants to order too early and change sizes, so they pay $250 to buy a dress, then $200 more in alterations if it does not fit 6-7 months later. ( They usually get mad at the bride who pushed them to buy too early, and want the bride to pay for alterations.)
Money, and knowing their size may change, are the big reasons most BM/MOH that I know about , put off buying till 4 months out, but don't want to talk about. And family planning that they want to keep private, is part of that. Awkward.

Sometimes, best friend or not, they just aren't happy for you and don't care. They show it with their actions. I think you may want to really look at what it really is and part ways with her being your MH.


It is said that if you want to know how someone truly feels announce your engagement, plan a wedding, or have a baby.
People will show your exactly how they feel with their actions.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this 100%.


There is no reason at all to assume she is not happy for you or doesn't care. She's parenting in a pandemic on top of the rest of her own obligations and that is a strain on anyone. There is also no reason dresses need to be ordered this early or will take half a year to come in. Other than standing up to support you in the dress you chose, they really don't have any required responsibilities this early or anytime. She is not responsible for making sure everyone else gets their stuff in line and it unreasonable to expect that of her.

View Quoted Comment Well I beg to differ...my BM order their dresses and dresses are not coming in til July....the problem is not wat everyone think...she just not communicating...

View Quoted Comment

Where is you ordering your wedding party dresses from? I asked because they told me that it would take 4-6 months for my girls dresses. Come to find out one placed her order in september and they told her after xmas for her dress and it came back in October. We aint having ours vow renewal until April.

View Quoted Comment

I order their dresses fron Davids Bridal. My dress wont be back til June.

View Quoted Comment I ordered my girls dresses from there as well. As I stated they told one of my girls December after xmas and she got it months early. They told another one February and she got it months early. All the other ones came 3 weeks. My wedding ain’t until April and all my girls have they dresses. I had 2 that ordered the second week of January and they got they dresses last week. Everyone else did theirs in September. It actually took a month tops even for the ones they said months to come back.

View Quoted Comment

Oh ok well im hoping that they do come back sooner than later ...my daughter was the first on to order hers and they sain the end of June please she has to get it altered. So hopefuy they will.

View Quoted Comment This is a rather dirty trick the wedding industry plays on brides. From years of keeping track, they know that if they push a bride to have her bridal party order way early with the bride, they are more likely to get most of the orders for thier company. Where if they wait to the necessary time, the bridesmaids are likely to order from whatever store is near them, and likely to wait for a sale. The stores get less money. They also know, the earlier the ladies all have their dresses, the higher price s are less of a problem. If all dresses are paid for before 6-7 months, that gives them and the bride a period of excitement when they will buy more expensive accessories. Glittering belts, evening bags and wraps, silly bridal stuff, jewelry, designer shoes rather than cheap dyed to match shoes. ... Pressing you to buy way before you need, for wedding party, means more money for them. Plain and simple. People who have been BM before, know very well. I have had 4 MOH or BM , and 3 times 2 flower girl dresses from Davids. The longest any took was six weeks after order. My sisters, and some close cousins, all different weddings, the same. It very unfairly puts a lot of pressure on a bride. And often is a reason for bridal party stress. 🙂 relax, if you can.

View Quoted Comment

They will come back in time. I have a total of 11 girls in my bridal party. They all have they dresses and they all came back early and some earlier than said(months early). Now they sitting hanging in the closet until April. I was nervous as well because they told me it can take all these months. Try and order soon for we can get them in time. All my girls caught the dresses on sale so i wasn't tripping they got them early. I know some will need to get altered and they will have time for that in march.

View Quoted Comment I agree with that

View Quoted Comment Yea I know they probably will...they r just trying get money as much money as they can

View Quoted Comment

July is 4-5 months before November. She has PLENTY of time to order a dress. She has the information for the dress, she knows when your wedding is, she knows how to buy things. Treat her like an adult and stop micromanaging her.