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Just Said Yes March 2018

Husband is afraid to fly for our honeymoon

Ashley, on May 28, 2019 at 6:41 PM Posted in Honeymoon 0 6

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Hi all, this is my first post and I'm looking for some advise.

As the title says, my husband has developed a crippling phobia of flying and just the thought of spending 10 hours in an airplane has sent him into a tizzy. We got married last year and had a trip planned to Bora Bora which we had to cancel due to his fear of flying. He was so upset and ashamed about the entire ordeal and went out to get help shortly after this incident. He struggles from Anxiety and Panic and has been seeing a psychologist for a year now for those issues as well as other deeper one that have to deal with his family life growing up. I love him so much and I'm so proud that he is taking positive steps to try and better his well being.

Now, fast forward a couple months, we are just 4 days away from trying to go on our Honeymoon again for the 2nd time to Europe from LAX. But I can see his anxiety ramping up and he is again working himself up into a tizzy. I don't suffer from fear of flying so I can't really relate to him. I want this trip to happen so bad but I can't help but think in the back of my head that he will refuse to board the plane for a second time.

Has anybody else suffered from fear of flying or lost out on a trip because of it? Any tips I can use to help easy my husbands worry? Thank you so much

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6 Comments

Expert October 2021
Hillary · on May 28, 2019 at 7:03 PM
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Hi! My FH doesn’t have the same intensity of anxiety, but it’s definitely there. A few years ago, before I met him, he had a seizure on a plane which left him with a lot of anxiety about flying. He hasn’t been on any long flights though. I would say the longest was when we went to Punta Cana in December and he just took some Xanax. My family is planning a trip for this December, possibilities include Morocco, Columbia, and Argentina. FH is definitely a little nervous thinking of the flight times but he also knows that these trips are like a once in a lifetime thing so he will probably just take more meds and just essentially be in a bad mood that day. I hope you guys get to go on your honeymoon!!
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on May 28, 2019 at 7:12 PM
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It's pretty rude to call your husband's serious anxeity a "tizzy" like he's some kind of child. Are you helping him or scolding him? You sound like a mum scolding an ill behaved child. My partner sees professional help for his problems too and I never talk about him like that, and I promise my fiance's problems have interfered with our travel plans too.
Well my first piece of advice is stop trying to take long flights. Europe and Bora Bora would give me an anxeity attack and I don't even fear planes! I've been to Europe and the flight sucked.
Now what to do about it? He needs to start on a very short flight, a few hours. You gotta be realistic that if he's refused to board before it'll be a problem again most likely. If you go somewhere closer he can do a short flight there and it'll show him nothing bad happened, aside from airplane food being as gross as it is.
Not sure where you live but if you have the option to plan a trip where you can fly there and maybe take a train back he might feel better knowing he's only gotta do it once.
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Expert October 2019
Jennifer · on May 28, 2019 at 7:19 PM
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If he sees a doctor, he can ask for a prescription for anti anxiety medication, or something to help him sleep on the flight. I do agree that planning trips that require flying doesn't seem like a great idea, but you've already got the tickets.
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Dedicated August 2019
Thea · on May 28, 2019 at 8:06 PM
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I second looking into anti-anxiety meds for the flight if he's willing to go that route. I know the trip is already planned, but next time I would try for a shorter flight and, if possible, out of a smaller (but not tiny) airport. I was an infrequent flier used to flying out of large airports (grew up near Logan Airport in Boston) and the first time I flew out of Bradley Airport in Connecticut I couldn't believe how much easier the whole thing felt.
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Expert August 2019
Ami · on May 28, 2019 at 10:43 PM
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I travel for work and have severe flight anxiety. Like, I fly most every week and I still get panic attacks on the plane. I had one terrible flight experience that set this off. I have anxiety meds that i take before flights now. Doesnt completely get rid of the fear, but it helps calm me down. Also I've found that I have to keep busy during any amount of minor turbulence. I always have headphones in with a movie or TV show along with a game on my phone. I've found that combination helps distract me enough to get through it.
Good luck! I never understood how ppl could be afraid of flying until I had my terrible flight that scarred me for life. That was 3 years and many, many, many flights ago....so it's not likely that his fear will disappear, he just needs help with coping mechanisms.
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Expert August 2020
· on May 29, 2019 at 5:27 AM
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Maybe a cruise would suit him better. Granted it's not Bora Bora but it's also not flying.
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Husband is afraid to fly for our honeymoon

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