Hey ladies! This site was my favorite thing ever when I was planning my wedding a few years ago but I haven't been here in ages lol. Figured I'd pop back on because I have a question about someone else's wedding now and I am not sure how to handle it!
I have a friend who I've known for years, but it's one of those situations where she feels like we are way closer than I do. We really don't talk that much and I almost never see her, but we do catch up over text every once in a while and we meet up every few years or so... She is getting married next year and I really think she's going to ask me to be a bridesmaid and I really don't think I can deal with it. I have a 9 month old son and am also dealing with a lot of family and personal issues that I'd rather not get into... I'd rather not get into them on here, and I'd also rather not get into them with her lol. And if I tell her I'm dealing with personal issues, she's absolutely the type to insist I tell her what they are.
She hasn't asked me yet so for all I know I could be nervous about nothing lol. But I am just trying to prepare if she does ask me, for how to handle it. I should also mention she is extremely sensitive and I feel like she will genuinely hate me and/or be extremely upset if I say no, so I am afraid I'll just say yes to be nice, and then be stuck in a situation where I'm either (1) being that terrible, unreliable, flaky bridesmaid we all hate, or (2) extending myself more than I'm physically/emotionally able to handle right now, in order to be a good bridesmaid to her.
Any thoughts? Honestly she is not getting married until 2023 so for all I know, things could be different for me by then and I may be more up to it? Just... the idea of someone counting on me to show up to wedding events, to buy a dress, even just to commit 100% to going to the wedding, is just something that is giving me so much anxiety. It's too much for me right now to commit to ANYTHING. I also feel like it's rude and flaky to say "maybe" 
(I should also add, I already declined going to her engagement party and made up a reasonable excuse, but then she rescheduled the engagement party for later this summer 
Idk even how to say no a second time, I am just really not imagining being up to a big party in a couple months, it's also 2 hours away, so either I'd have to drag my baby that far or I'd have to leave him all day which I don't feel ready to do...)
