How to deal with stress?!

I told perfect to go find a deep, dark hole to crawl in and stay there.

Seriously.

"Perfect" is a standard pushed on us by media and the wedding industrial complex. If you go look in the "BAM" posts, you'll find that something went wrong (maybe a tiny thing, maybe a huge thing), but, in the end, it didn't matter.

Look at your lists. Figure out what really is important to you, and focus on those things. Everything else... can either happen or not, whatever.

We're actors, so we looked at the day as a big show. Shows are never perfect - that's the whole point of live theatre. So, we went for "married, fed, fun", and told perfect to shove it.

...In the end, the *only* thing I noticed that went "wrong" was a tiny bit of lace on my bodice that wouldn't stay put.

I'm pretty fortunate as I have been pretty stress free throughout this whole planning process, and that's with losing a venue and having to reschedule once due to covid. Realize that perfect doesn't exist and that no one will notice details as much as you think they will. Also, what's helped me stay so zen is to put more importance on our marriage than on our wedding. Breathe, you'll be fine.

There is no such thing as perfect- accepting that has been a huge relief!

My MOH gave me advice that has stuck with me throughout my engagement -

NO ONE has the perfect wedding, the little details will be so small in the grand scheme of things. No one will remember your table decorations or how your bridesmaids were ordered, or any of the details we naturally lose our minds over! My best advice is to jus keep your eye on the prize - your new husband!

It was all fall into place on your wedding day - all of your people will be your extra pair of eyes and ears that check behind you to make sure nothing is being forgotten.

COVID has given brides some PSTD with wedding planning, you're not crazy! But try to just enjoy this season before you're a wife and be confident it'll be your dream day, because it will be!

No one can have a perfect wedding. Have a wedding that is simply you.

I feel you on the stress! Sometimes I remember something entirely minute that hasn't been planned or I will start to worry about none of my immediate family coming due to Covid, and I will start to panic. I am trying to be low stress because I have Alopecia and will lose patches of hair if I get too stressed. The best things for me to remember have been
(1) my wedding will never be perfect because perfect doesn't exist
(2) the most important thing about our wedding day will always be that I get to marry the man of my dreams(3) no one cares about any of details except me. All our family and friends are coming to support and love us, not judge us.
I am just trying not to let any one thing bog me down, and to have fun with the planning process. When things get stressful or I am not having fun, I stop and try again later.

I keep seeing things like "perfect doesn't exist" and I have a little different take on it. I think perfect DOES exist, but sometimes you have to redefine it. For me, "perfect" used to be getting married in a church with an indoor reception venue nearby, as many guests as I want, a full lunch or dinner (depending on the time), photographer and videographer, photo booth, etc. But now COVID won't allow an indoor reception or as many guests as I want or an enclosed photo booth and our budget won't allow different ceremony/reception venues, a full meal, or a videographer. COVID and budget have literally upended every single plan I ever had for my wedding and, as a person who suffers from severe anxiety and depression, I've had more than a few breakdowns about it. I had to rethink what "perfect" really means to me and the conclusion that I came to is that "perfect" means I get to marry my best friend. THAT is what matters to me.

As for being stressed and not knowing why, well that's pretty normal when planning a big event. It's easy to get too "up in your head" and start to worry about everything that can go wrong and trying to preemptively fix it. This is when I have to remind myself of the bible verse my pastor gave me in a really hard time. Even if you're not religious, it's sound advice and encouragement. Matthew 6:34 - Don't worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for that advice and perspective!

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!

View Quoted Comment I've been thinking back to other weddings I was at this year and you're totally right. No one will remember the small details!

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for that perspective! And I love that quote 💕