How much thanking (in your opinion) is required?

I forgot to say - our plan (rather than have thank you cards or photos printed) was to send a mail merge email out once our photos are ready with personalized messages for each couple talking about their specific gift, and making reference to a photo number of them that we particularly like - ie something like the below, with the bold sections being the personalized bit for each couple:

Dear Jack and Diane, it was so lovely having you attend our wedding in February of this year. It meant so much to us that you were able to travel from interstate to celebrate with us, and your gift of a personalized canoe was so thoughtful, since we are both competitive canoers. It will come in handy for the 2024 olympics! The link for our photo gallery is here (link) - we especially like picture 375 with you and Uncle Sam getting down on the dance floor! Thank you again for your generosity and your absolute joy in celebrating with us. Our day wouldn't have been the same without you.

What do you mean by "how much thanking"? I thought a handwritten note for each person was the norm. If you don't know their address, I would check your registry as they may have entered it when they ordered the gift.


I would prefer to wait until after the wedding to do thank-you notes so we could put a photo on it, but some people have already sent gifts, so I got some blank cards in a rush and am sending them out as needed. After the wedding, I think I want to make new cards and send one to everybody thanking them for attending -- I know that is totally not necessary, but I want them to know it was seeing them that matters most, not the gift(s).

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It's very uncommon to have a registry here in Australia, so we didn't have one, and as a result, no addresses would have been given.

To answer the other question, what I mean by 'how much thanking' - we've already sent a thank you note (non-personalised) to our guests shortly after the wedding. Those guests who gave us specific, physical gifts or especially generous monetary gifts were texted a separate thank you, with a photo of us using the gift, or a note to say how unexpectedly generous their gift was and how grateful we are.

In addition to that, we would be in some way thanking our guests AGAIN along with the photo gallery link. We are not sure whether it will be personalized to each couple as I mention in my response above, or if it will be a basic and non-personalized message - "here are the photos from our wedding, we had the most amazing day and that shows in the photos - thank you so much for making the day what it was."

But at that point, we'd have thanked some of our guests over 3 times. I'm just wondering if we really NEED to do hand written notes and printed photos for people to be sufficiently thanked, or if 3 thank you messages is enough.

View Quoted Comment Oh I misunderstood! I think 3 is definitely enough, haha 😄 If you're sharing the gallery link with everyone, maybe you can do that via email and include a brief message at the bottom: "Once again, thank you all for making our day so special. No matter how many times we say it, it could never be enough!" Or something like that.

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Yes, maybe that's enough! I just wasn't sure if online-only and without hand written notes to guests might be perceived as tacky or rude.

View Quoted Comment Maybe do a handful just for the older/moat traditional guests? Is there anyone who would be really offended if they don't receive one?

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That is what I was thinking! we did print an invitation especially for his grandma because she doesn't have email, for example, so maybe one or two for the older guests would be a good solution. It just seems silly to hurt peoples' feelings over something so unavoidable and silly, if they WERE to be really offended.

In our circles, an online or in person thank you doesn’t count as the official one. You take the effort to write thank you notes or people think you are ungrateful for their gifts and presence. Make it a team project by tackling a few together every day while you watch tv until you get them done. Also, in our circles, post-wedding photos are not given to guests. An engagement photo is included in wedding invitation packet and the couple may send a photo Christmas/holiday card but not a post-wedding photo card. So that would not be considered a thank you either unless the card specifically says “thank you for the ____ and sharing our day”. Do what works for you.



We’ve given gifts for past weddings and have not received any acknowledgment, but were told through others second and third hand that they were appreciated. If a thank you card is not sent directly, then people do wonder if you received the gift and if you wanted it.

I think since you did all online save the dates and invitations, etc. I’m sure it would be okay to send email thank yous! I would just be positive they will definitely receive the messages aka not go to spam folder.



For my wedding I did physical hand written thank you cards and a printed photo from our wedding. I chose pictures of them captured by our photographer or of us together at the wedding. I only had 75 guests so I printed about 40 photos at CVS for I think 9 cents per photo. I put the photo inside the thank you card and mailed it to them. This is not customary or expected but rather something I wanted to do.

Also, I would be sure to send personalized messages to EACH guest no matter their generosity was.

I’m sure whatever you decide, your guests will feel acknowledged and appreciated

GORGEOUS PHOTO by the way!!! Congratulations 🍾🎉🎈🎊

I think email thank yous would be good in your case. I will be doing a printed thank you card with a photo with a typed note on the back. But I will be tailoring it to each person/ couple we’re sending it to. We are sending everything via mail and any thank you cards I’ve ever gotten after a wedding I received via mail

Your message seems perfect and very personal to each guest. And holy moly what a stunning photo! You both look so happy and wow gorgeous bridal look, congrats!!

Gorgeous photo! I personally really like a handwritten thank you - BUT it sounds like your crowd is used to the online options. I like how you personalized the email text - I think that sounds perfect! I would rather receive a personalized email versus a generic mailed thank you with out personal touches

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Yes this is my concern too - people not knowing their specific gift was received, which is why we reached out to those who gave physical gifts to say "thank you for the x" and tried to show us using it.

Oh that's such a weird cultural difference - its VERY common here for people to give a post-wedding card. The last one we got had a QR code link to the wedding photos which was so good - I love seeing all the photos taken and seeing if I can find myself in the background, lol.

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I do really like this approach (the cards and photos) and am glad you mention giving to each couple, not just to those who gave a physical or overly generous gift. It didn't sit entirely right with me to pick and choose. I'm sure your guests were very touched!

And awww, thank you! we couldn't get over how happy we looked in that photo when we first saw it, haha! And we were! (are!)

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Thanks. I know invitations online are becoming more and more common and especially with covid seem much less... tacky and as a result of being cheap than they once felt even 5 years ago, but somehow I'm more hesitant with online thank yous just in case someone is offended, so this was good to hear!

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Aww, thank you so much. That photo was taken directly after the ceremony and both of us were absolutely floating, haha!

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Aww, thank you! I don't think I've ever been as grateful, humbled and joyful as I was on that day!

And ooh, this is a good point, thanks. I think maybe personalised but online thank yous is going to be the best option!

We might do as someone else said and print out one or two for the oldies - his nana is such a sweet lady, we'll have to print her a proper photo and take it over along with a hand written note, I think.

View Quoted Comment And honestly in my opinion if someone gets offended then oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm in the US, and here, in our circle, a personal handwritten thank you note is required and expected -- and an email would definitely not be an acceptable replacement. However, my sister has lived in AU for 40+ years and I've seen how different the traditions and expectations are there as my nephews have married, so I think this is a "know your crowd/circle" kind of question in your case (I would NOT give that advice to a poster in the US -- here, I'd say, send the darn cards! ). In addition, if any of your guests are from outside AU, our experience with the USPS and AU Post this past year have been terrible. Last I checked, it is still impossible to send even a small envelope to AU for less than nearly $100 and, even then, the USPS clerk told me there was a strong chance it would be returned to me as undeliverable.... So, if you're asking about international guests, I think you get a hard pass on attempting to send physical cards. (I still have the mailer of my sister's family's Christmas gifts in the top of my closet because there's been no reasonable way to get it to them....) And, I agree that photo is perfect! Congrats!