How much are grooms willing to spend on an engagement ring?

I don’t think there is any rule about how much a groom should pay for an engagement ring. It should just be a combination of the bride’s preferences in a ring, and the groom’s budget (or the couple’s budget, as many are now choosing the ring together).

The “three month salary” guideline came out as a marketing campaign by De Beers diamonds, who are the same company who promulgated the idea that an engagement ring is a necessity and that it needs to be a diamond to begin with back in the 1930s.

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Yes, I know about the marketing campaign by De Beers and their PR of diamonds. It just seems to me that now engagement rings have become significantly cheaper and more varied in terms of precious materials. For example, my friend proposed with a ring made of silver and moissanite costing $195. And this in no way made the couple any less happy than if it were a ring for a couple of thousand. I'm thinking about this.

There's no rule. The three month salary thing is 50 years old, dates back to the 60's/70's.

That's so silly and outdated. Marriage was also held in a different regard back then socially, politically, and economically. They also say housing costs incl. utilities and association fees should be 30% of your gross income, but that's just not how people live, at least not in NY where we have big salaries, and big jewelry, but not necessarily engagement rings.

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Thank you) this is exactly the opinion I need.

The responsible amount to spend is going to vary individually and hugely depending on finances, income, savings, debt, long and short term savings goals, age and stage of life, kids, career/job stability and outlook, a safety net, and more.

We didn't have a rule when we got our rings. We did custom designed rings that are serving a dual purpose as both wedding and engagement rings, and they were 3k each, and not a diamond in sight. We knew what we wanted ahead of time, talked to several jewelers, got several quotes and went with the one whose take on our idea we liked most and felt most comfortable with. We knew custom rings weren't going to be cheap but we also wanted something unique. We had agreed ahead of time on a cap (per ring) that matched 1 months salary for each of us. (We make roughly the same money). And luckily were able to stay under that while still getting everything we wanted. We did alternating aquamarines and opals (our birthstones) on a gold band with an inscription inside and they are beautiful and exactly what we wanted. I know lots of people doing "non diamond" rings these days, especially LGBT couples in our circle. There are no traditions when you're doing an untraditional wedding to start with :-)

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Your comment is very inspiring, it's kind of how I see the modern approach to wedding jewelry!

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Yes, and it seems to me that previously jewelry in general was less accessible. Now there are so many brands and precious materials like moissanites and laboratory diamonds. This allows you to reduce the check, while leaving the rings no less chic.

By the way, diamonds no longer play first fiddle; in recent years, the popularity of custom engagement rings has grown significantly. Couples began to strive more for uniqueness and personalization.

Based on my own experience, I think although people have moved past the DeBeers marketing strategy, I do feel that the need to purchase a diamond or diamond-like gem is a pervasive norm. My FH fell into this trap by way of his mother giving him advice. We plan to personalize the wedding band with some more unique choices. The investment in having a diamond as the centerpiece of an engagement ring is something that needs to go the way of the dodo, and ultimately that's a major part of driving any ring price up.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this. For those who don’t get suckered into marketing and propaganda, the cost is literally whatever you can afford. For some couples, that’s a ring pop from the candy aisle or something inexpensive from Walmart, if they decide not to use an heirloom ring that costs nothing. What other people spend has zero bearing on your spending because everyone has different budgets. Always has been, always will be. Consumerism thrives on jealousy and wanting what everyone has and not being content with what you can afford without financial assistance/loans/going into debt.