House before or after wedding??

Planning a wedding and house shopping are two VERY stressful events. Trying to do both...I honestly can't even imagine. You need to be able to feel safe but if you all are able to wait until after the wedding it would make things a lot easier.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! We've butted heads but we both are stressed out definetly. I'd like to have a nice wedding but I'd also like a nice first house and not something just because we had to.

My fiancé and I got engaged 2017 and bought a house the same year. For a while I wanted a wedding before a house but he convinced me. It made more sense to me to have somewhere to live that was ours than have to rent somewhere. I think the fire would make me want to buy a house and get out of there to be honest. I waited a long time to even be engaged (highschool sweethearts) and having our own home was worth the wait.

I’d say it depends on how much you can save up by the time you plan to get a house. My FH and I are hoping to get a house before we get married but I already had money saved and we have more than half of our wedding paid off. We set up a joint account after we got engaged and started saving money from each paycheck. Right now we live separately with our parents, so that has helped tremendously. We just help out with bills. Everyone is in different situations though if you feel like it’s not doable then wait until you feel like you’re financially stable to take that big step

View Quoted Comment Thank you for thr advice. Right now he is relocated at a hotel until the remodel is done. So we will wait to see if he gets evicted or not. We also are high school sweethearts 2011. There's alot of things we need to talk to determine if we should rent or own.

My FH and I got engaged Jan 2018. We’ve been planning our wedding since April 2018 and we’re getting married in 26 days. We closed on our house in Jan 2019. Honestly, to me, having a house is/was more important than a wedding. However, doing both at the same time was stressful. Especially since I’m a full time college student and work full time. If you’ve already set a date for your wedding and paid deposits, I would say wait until you’re married and then buy a house. If you haven’t done that yet, then I would say get a house?

View Quoted Comment Great advice and we havnt done any payments yet we weren't planning till June of this year. I will definetly take your advice in consideration. Thank you!

We met with a financial advisor. Helped us figure out what we could afford and still be comfortable with our every day life. So my FH won this and we are building our house while planning our wedding. But we bought the land a while ago and it will be paid off next year. But I know where you are coming from I was freaked out when we bought our first house..

I’m in the same boat! A house to us is more important than a wedding and FH thinks we are going to get a house by the end of the year so we don’t need to renew our lease for our apartment. My grandparents are super old fashion and want us to be married before a house so they said as a wedding gift they are going to give us a down payment but that means staying in our apartment for at least two more years which we really don’t want since our rent is so high to begin with.

We have been house shopping while wedding planning and the house shopping part of it has been a nightmare. We got dragged through the loop on a house we were supposed to close on, we had to back out on our end because a home was involved in a bad solar panel contract, we looked at probably over 100 homes and it’s putting so much extra stress on us! I don’t recommend doing both at the same time, it honestly has taken away from enjoying engaged life so much.

We are also looking to buy a house .....AFTER the wedding.
It's too much pressure to focus on both, in my opinion.

Moving is not an easy task. Your situation is different, but I think you are on the right path.

Keep saving and do one thing at a time. Rent until after the wedding. Then focus on looking , saving and buying.

Or, buy the house , then plan the wedding. I think it would be very hard to do both in one year.


Follow your gut, sounds like you have a well thought out plan.
Good luck!

We have done both.. which is very stressful.. but SOOOO worth it. We have our house and I love it yes, finding a place and moving in and all the things was stressful.. but I love having our own house that we own!! So I know it may not be in the plans (it wasn’t really in ours! We were looking at land not a house!) but we are so happy and it has actually made us calmer! I wish you good luck with it all. Try talking to your FH about your concerns and maybe start a pro con list (it’s stupid but it helps me visualize)!! Good luck!! Congratulations!

Your home is more important than the celebration of a wedding. Cut the wedding in half have a small intimate union, only the most important people of your life should share this moment with you in order for you to be able to purchase the home that you need to live together in Holy Matrimony. Just my thoughts, Your Love and how you spend it together is more important and significant than any celebration or vow you can take simply because you marrying each other not all your friends and your family. You need to have a place that you can call home for your husband. You need a castle to come home to even if the wedding is small. How about by the house and have your wedding in your new house, small and intimate.

We currently have a house but we have decided to upgrade for a bigger one, more space and so on. We found a new construction ones and so we are going through the process now. We haven’t decided if we want to the rent out the one we have now or sell it, but our mortgage it’s definitely going to be more on this house. So we are planning a wedding and going through the house process.. well, I’m in charge of the wedding planning (I do get his input and opinions) and he’s in charge of the house stuff and of course he get my opinions and Input and of course we agreed on the house... now we just signed the contract for the lot and now to start building.... as stressful as it can be planning 2 things at once, it’ll probably be worth if for the peace of mind. There are a lot of programs for first time buyers, FHA loans and so on. When we first bought our house (this will be our 3rd that we will currently own) we didn’t have much $$. We didn’t put down a deposit and we asked for the seller to pay for the closing costs.. if y’all really want to make that type of move, there are ways, just find the right way.. good luck

We are trying to at least rent a house by the time of the wedding but really want to buy but we are young -.- we don't like the renting process

We were looking into buying a home before getting married in October and it has been one big stressful nightmare. We decided to buy after the wedding because it is just not feasible for us to so before. We don't NEED to move though and we love our current home so to us waiting makes sense. In your case if you have to move for safety reasons, the question I have for you is are you okay with renting somewhere else for a year just to buy a house and move again? Bc moving is crazy stressful and I'm not sure I'd want to move twice in a few years. Buying a house while planning a wedding is also stressful but at least once you buy the house and move you're done. If you don't need to move from your current location i probably wouldn't until ready and comfortable enough to buy a house. But that's only if you feel safe.

I bought our current house six months before I met my FH. We will live here for about a year after the wedding, then look at upgrading. I want to move before we have kids (it's a three story townhouse) and my FH wants a traditional house with a yard. I did use the first time home buyers assistance which helped in the purchase of this home

I know it's not what most people consider, but have you considered a lease with an option to purchase? This way you don't have to come up with $$$$.

My FH and I are kind of in a similar situation. It was a flood instead of fire. We're renting our condo and the flooder owns theirs so if anyone leaves, it has to be us. We have opted to wait until after the wedding to start house shopping as to not put any unnecessary stress on us mentally and financially. The repairs have been completed and he was reprimanded by the HOA and even had his water turned off for over a week so fingers crossed no more issues! Good luck with whatever you do and keep a fire extinguisher handy!!

FH and I got engaged in May 2018, bought a house In January (we don’t live in it yet), are renovating that house right now (total gut job) and the wedding is in 4 months😳 it actually hasn’t been as stressful as I thought it would be, but I’m guessing it would have been if we had to pay for the whole wedding ourselves. We are however putting like $30k into renovations and bought the house (a foreclosure in our ideal neighborhood) cash for $89k so that’s a lot of money going out (at least to us it is). Only stressful thing about it is that most of the reno money is coming out of my pockets which sucks cause I hate using money. I would hate renting because once you spend that money you can never get it back, but a house is an investment that you can get a return on if you do it right. We are planning on moving into the house after the wedding and living there for at least a year before selling it. Looking to make at least $20k at most $35k profit on it that we can spend on getting a bigger place we can fix up and flip and so on.