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Just Said Yes November 2020

Honoring Deceased Sister on Wedding Website/program

Holly, on August 9, 2019 at 10:56 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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Hello! I am trying to get a feel for whether or not this would be a good idea. My best friend/sister passed away and I’m trying to figure out the best way to honor her at my wedding. I’ve decided not to have a maid of honor since I know that spot would have been hers and it just doesn’t feel right to have anyone else. I am thinking of listing her on our wedding website and program as the honorary maid of honor but I don’t know if people would find that weird and morbid. My family and people who know me well would completely understand, but I’m concerned about the reaction of my fiancée’s family and friends since I don’t think most of them know how close my relationship with my sister was. I would appreciate any comments and advice you ladies could offer!

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Latest activity by CM, on April 20, 2024 at 12:09 PM

Dedicated September 2019
Jessica · on August 9, 2019 at 11:47 PM
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I dont think its morbid....but maybe you could do one of those tables with the sign that says I know you'd be here if heaven weren't so far away...I think that's how it goes
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on August 10, 2019 at 12:14 AM
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Some people add photo charms to their bouquet so in a way they're walking down the aisle with you. So sorry for your loss
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Dedicated June 2019
Vanessa · on August 10, 2019 at 8:43 AM
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I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. I think incorporating her into your wedding is a beautiful idea. I actually did what the previous two posters suggested. I walked myself down the aisle but had bouquet charms of my mother and grandmother. We also had a display at the wedding and included a picture of my husband’s father. At the ceromy we also designated an empty seat in the front row of each side with a white rose in each of their remembrance. It was nice to look over at those seats and what they represented to us during the ceremony
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on August 12, 2019 at 7:26 AM
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Hey Holly! I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. It’s a really beautiful idea to want to include her memory on your wedding.
If you truly want to appoint your Maid of Honor position to her, then you should. It’s totally about what makes you and your SO happy and when it comes to something like this, I don’t think it really matters what others think.
Have you thought about honoring her in any other ways on your wedding day?
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on August 12, 2019 at 7:27 AM
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Hi Vanessa! I think the way you honored your family members at your wedding is really beautiful!!
I love the flowers on the chairs. It's really special.
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Expert October 2017
Florida Marlins · on August 13, 2019 at 5:23 PM
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Please stick to charms on your bouquet or something private. Seeing a rose in a chair in memory of her WILL be upsetting to other family members. Please do not list her as honorary maid of honor. I am sorry for your loss. Your sister would want you and your guests to be happy and celebrate at your wedding, not feeling sad. Your emotions will be very heightened that day - trust me!
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Lisa · on January 2, 2022 at 8:05 PM
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My daughter will be doing a rose on the chair next to the bridesmaid, she’s sowing a piece of her sisters wedding dress into hers. She’s adding a photo of her matron of honor on her website. And a pic on her bouquet. And a sash on a pic of her sister on her bridal shower/personal shower. It’s how you feel on your wedding day. I’m a parent and yes it’s going to hurt not seeing her there but I want what my daughter wants. Don’t worry about other family members it’s your day!
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Christine · on April 18, 2024 at 8:08 PM
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Lovely idea!
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Christine · on April 20, 2024 at 10:39 AM
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This is not good advice. It won't make people sad to see the chair and rose, it will make them happy that she is including and remembering her. You must not have ever lost a loved one or you would know how important it is to honor and remember them. People would be sad if she acted like she never existed. My daughter listed her sister as Maid of Honor in Memoriam with her photo. It was lovely and well-received.
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CM · on April 20, 2024 at 12:09 PM
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To be fair, people can feel both ways. I honor and respect anyone's decision, but personally I did not see my own wedding as the time or place for a memorial. That doesn't even remotely suggest the person never existed, which is a very unfair characterization on the other side of this. The whole trend of memorials at weddings is relatively recent, as you probably know if you have a married daughter.
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of another daughter.
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Honoring Deceased Sister on Wedding Website/program

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