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Suzanne
Just Said Yes November 2022

Hispanic traditions, but not Hispanic

Suzanne, on October 22, 2019 at 5:48 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 15
I have a lot of friends that are hispanic. And I was telling them that I wanted to incorporate the tradition of the money dance at my wedding. They have all told me that I need to incorporate the Padrinos part too. For those that dont know, these are like Godparents that help pay for the wedding. But, me not being hispanic makes me feel awkward to ask my friends to help pay. What are your thoughts?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Lady, on October 22, 2019 at 2:47 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I think it’s really weird and completely inappropriate to include traditions from cultures you don’t belong to, unless your FS belongs to that culture.
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  • Suzanne
    Just Said Yes November 2022
    Suzanne ·
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    Even when my friends are the ones that suggested it?
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    Yes, I think no matter the circumstances unless the bride and/or groom belong to a culture, they have no business using traditions from that culture.
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  • Keri
    Expert November 2019
    Keri ·
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    Agree with PP. Unless it is part of your culture, I wouldn't be asking for money at your wedding. I definitely wouldn't be asking for people to pay for the wedding.
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  • Katie
    Devoted November 2020
    Katie ·
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    What's the money dance? Like the dollar dance? I would just do that. Since that seems to be a wedding tradition but I wouldnt do the Hispanic tradition of the sponsor.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    That means that they probably would not be offended, personally. It does not mean thata great majority of other Hispanic people would not find it offensive, that you copied a traditional thing of theirs. Or that non-Hispanic friends would not be offended that you are asking for money to finance your wedding. Something they do not find okay . . . . There are numerous European cultures where some form of money dance is done at weddings . Whether coins in an apron, bills attached to a skirt, whatever. But something I found out in looking in to one side of my culture, from Finland bordering Russia, and in hubby's northeastern Italy and Eastern European family: times and places where money dances we're done, at a time when a single coin or dollar was given, that coin or dollar often represented a full day of wages. And was done in place of, not in addition to, the giving of any other wedding gifts, except by immediate family. Not a fundraiser for the wedding, but in place of most wedding and shower gifts as we know them. . . If you are doing a brief one, symbolically, as a nod to your culture, that is one thing. But if you actually are raising money, are you omitting shower and wedding gifts in exchange for the money dance? Most people still make registries and accept showers given for them, and expect the usual presents. Then want to add a form of money dance too. A lot of people grumble and take offense at that as adding on a squeeze for money while still expecting usual gifts. Double dipping as it were. That kind of add-on smells bad to a lot of people.
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    Nope don't do it. If you and FS are not hispanic then I don't understand having hispanic aspects of the wedding. If your friends are hispanic then I get why they would suggest things that are the norm for them but if it's not part of your upbringing it doesn't make sense to do it.

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  • Layelle
    Dedicated February 2020
    Layelle ·
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    As someone who is Hispanic I would definitely say don't do it if you aren't. It can be considered highly offensive and disrespectful
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  • Suzanne
    Just Said Yes November 2022
    Suzanne ·
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    Thanks for the opinions! I appreciate it.
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  • Lyndsey
    Dedicated April 2020
    Lyndsey ·
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    I think if your Hispanic friends want to give you some money or whatever during the wedding because that is the norm for them then let that happen on the day, but don't plan a full money dance if it's not in your own culture and not what most of the guests would expect, especially if you are registering for gifts or having a shower etc. FH's parents have invited their Greek friends to our wedding and I have been told to expect them to try to pin money on my dress during the reception as that's the norm for them, I don't see anything wrong with letting them do that if that's what they would normally do for a couple in lieu of a gift but that's different from me planning it that way for all my guests when I am not Greek.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Both cultural appropriation and asking your friends and family to pay to dance with you are inappropriate. Skip all of this.
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  • Kiley
    Expert November 2019
    Kiley ·
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    I wouldn't do the Hispanic tradition if neither you nor you FH are Hispanic, despite your friends encouraging you. You could do a dollar dance, which is similar, but not a cultural tradition.

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  • Dessiree
    Dedicated February 2021
    Dessiree ·
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    I am Hispanic as well and for me this isn't inappropriate. If someone like my culture and wants to incorporate to their wedding I feel trill that other people like my culture and want too be part of it. If you friend are those who suggest I don't think they will be offended either. But in this days everybody is offended for everything so if you are worried that can offend others don't do it.
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  • Suzanne
    Just Said Yes November 2022
    Suzanne ·
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    Thank you!
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Yeah, if you're not hispanic - you shouldn't include hispanic traditions at your wedding.

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