Help with MOH dilemma

It sucks that she's flaked on some things she committed to, but as MOH, she really only has to get the dress and show up on the day. They should definitely not be required to "support financially" anything. She lives 4 hours away, why would you need her at a hair trial? Are you sure your expectations aren't too high? Sounds like you were planning more than she was able to do.

How would you go about "cancelling" your current MOH? She's not a prop for your wedding, she's a person with feelings.

I'm saying that sometimes things can get out of hand when it comes to relationships and weddings. It almost always helps to lower expectations.

It sounds very frustrating for you and I think we can all understand and sympathise with that. Obviously you shouldn't have to pay for things that she has agreed to pay for and she should follow through with things she's committed too but sometimes these things do happen as people are prone to over-committing when it comes to wedding. She is likely embarrassed about having not done things/paid for things which is probably where her evasive behaviour is stemming from.

At this point it is probably more hassle than its worth to try and change things - do you really want to spend the final month before your wedding clashing with a lifelong friend? Plus your other friend could feel like an afterthought if you ask her to replace your MOH so late in the game.

As others have said, it isn't anybody's job to organise anything around your wedding - it is just nice if they are able to step up and help. But I do understand your frustrations of people not seeing through their commitments.

You're right. I wasn't trying to be mean at all. I'm always on the side of preserving relationships between our posters and their nearest and dearest.

You should say nothing as far as making changes to the MOH title, because it's just a title. It doesn't need to be taken away from a flaky friend and given to someone whose acting as you want your MOH to act because it's an honor you've already given to a friend you love.

It sucks that she fell through on a lot of important things, and even some things that she was the one who had requested! But all in all, you can't do anything about her flakiness and while incredibly frustrating that she let you down so many times, I would just leave it be. If you feel super resentful, sit down with her pre-wedding and tell her how these things hurt you. If you're feeling like you can let it go, talk to her post-wedding.

Even if we are upfront with our MOH, that doesn't guarantee they will be able to fulfill your wishes. For example, "I want you to be my MOH because x, y, z. Are you okay with helping me plan my bachelorette and bridal shower? It's going to take up a lot of time because we have x girls and it'll cost around $x. These are my expectations and it's totally fine and if you feel like it's too much, I can ask friend x." She can say "yes of course!", but things happen. Time runs out, feelings change, other things come up. It's reality and is one of the reasons why people say weddings bring out the 'worst' in people.