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Dedicated February 2020

Help! I’ve got a groomzilla!

Lauren, on September 7, 2019 at 10:22 PM Posted in Do It Yourself 0 10

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My fiancé is the biggest groomzilla. We’ll be doing our own decorations at our destination wedding in Puerto Rico. We purchased 3 vases per table to put a lavender floating candle, gems and a flower in. He’s also adding a lavender table runner since our venue is only giving us white linens, plates and silverware. His niece suggested adding bunches of lavender flowers tied on the plates. I asked him what the purpose of that was and he completely flipped out on me. He’s obviously very stressed and he said that I don’t care about our wedding looking nice. Sounds like he’s on his period lol. I just don’t see a point in getting bunches of lavender flowers, tying them together and leaving them on our guests plates. Right now we have 60 people who have booked their rooms and flights! I think the table with the centerpieces and runner would look nice enough and doesn’t need anything else. I tried explaining to him that it’s just extra to have those lavender flowers on everyone’s plates that don’t really serve any other purpose than looking nice as he wants it. That also adds up in addition to the centerpieces purchased. I don’t know how to approach this, I told him to just get the lavender if that’s what he really wants but I won’t be the one tying them together. He said we’re not going to have any decorations, forget about everything, it’ll just be the plain white tables. Dramatic much? Not sure how to approach this. Am I being a stickler for not wanting the bunches of lavender? What do you think?

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Latest activity by Lauren, on September 8, 2019 at 9:34 PM

Expert January 2020
Abby · on September 7, 2019 at 10:29 PM
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He’s just being over dramatic. Give him a bit to calm down. He’s stressed and taking it out on you. Remind him you’re on his team and you also want everything perfect, but just don’t see why the extra expense and time is worth it. Also I used to have lavender grow outside my house and it died quick once picked and the little purple flowers fell of easily. Idk if this was just my flowers or if all are like this . Just give him a day or two. Hope this helps!!
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Dedicated February 2020
Lauren · on September 7, 2019 at 10:34 PM
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Thanks Abby! I appreciate it! Everything is just a battle. He has a vision for our wedding and I’m more like I know it’s going to be nice no matter what. Having lavender bunches isn’t going to make or break it. Good tip about the lavender flowers!
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Expert January 2020
Abby · on September 7, 2019 at 10:38 PM
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I totally understand! I know I’ve been kind of unreasonable about a few things. I’ve also had a lot of dental surgery recently so I’ve been hurting and I’m a bad mood which has made me even worse, but normally I just need an hour or two before I’m like “ya know what it’s gonna be beautiful and everything is gonna work out.” So just give him time. It’s kind of sweet he cares so much.
Hope the advice helps! Id hate for y’all to get all the lavender and it fall apart and him get upset right before the wedding! 😊
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Dedicated February 2020
Lauren · on September 7, 2019 at 10:48 PM
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Sweet but very frustrating!! It helps, hopefully he’ll cool down. He’s still so angry! I hope you feel better from your dental surgery!
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on September 8, 2019 at 12:57 AM
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I mean centerpieces and table runners are also decorations that “don’t really serve any other purpose except looking nice.” It’s his wedding just as well as yours. I don’t think wanting it to look nice makes him a groomzilla. If it’s in your budget, I don’t see the issue with doing something extra if it makes him happy.
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Dedicated February 2020
Lauren · on September 8, 2019 at 9:14 AM
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The centerpieces and table runners don’t have any other purpose, I don’t have a problem with him. I simply asked what the lavender flowers were going to be for and he flipped out on me which was completely unnecessary. We could have had a calm conversation and he could’ve responded I think it’ll look nice blah blah. He’s also not following our budget at all and it’s frustrating for me but I’m patient with him, he has no patience and is very stressed because he wants this wedding to be perfect. I don’t even call it my wedding, this is HIS wedding and I’m just showing up. It’s nice that he wants to be involved but he gets so defensive when all I’m doing is asking a simple question! That is a groomzilla, his family and mine have officially given him that title.
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Super September 2021
Paige L. · on September 8, 2019 at 11:56 AM
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I agree with you Caytlyn. The groom wanting his wedding to look a certain way is definitely not him being a “groomzilla”.
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Dedicated February 2020
Lauren · on September 8, 2019 at 12:31 PM
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I like for him to be involved but after I calmly asked him what the purpose of lavender flowers on the plates were for it did not give him a reason to flip out on me, especially in front of his family. To me, a groomzilla is more of an attitude rather than him expressing what he wants. For example, he wants a photo backdrop and I don’t but I kept that to myself because I know he wants it. Not sure how we will get that to Puerto Rico but that’s what he wants, that doesn’t make him a groomzilla but if I told him how I really feel about the backdrop I already know what his reaction will be. That reaction makes him a groomzilla because it’s what he wants and that’s it. There’s no compromise right now. It’s not worth the fight so he’s getting the backdrop he wants.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on September 8, 2019 at 9:00 PM
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I wouldn't call him a groomzilla for wanting something to look a certain way. It sounds like he didn't react to your question the best way, but I actually like his idea and did something similar where I had my florist add sprigs of red berries at each place setting. It added that extra little detail that people loved.
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Dedicated February 2020
Lauren · on September 8, 2019 at 9:34 PM
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Exactly! He is very snippy. He could’ve calmly told me his reasoning and I would’ve said ok cool. Your place settings look very nice!

I’m worried because we didn’t hire decorators, his family will decorate the day of. I think the less they have to do the better. I want to make everything as simple as possible. They’re going to prepare our centerpieces and set up our place cards. I want them to also enjoy themselves and have time to get ready. Tying 60+ bunches of lavender will take time. Maybe a simpler option will work.
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Help! I’ve got a groomzilla!

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