Hi everyone, I'm feeling really deflated today as we finalize the cancellation of our wedding and notify guests... I have so much to be grateful for during this time when so many are struggling, but I can't help feeling totally heartbroken that we won't be having the celebration we dreamed of. I feel really sad letting our friends and family down, but we felt like it was the best thing to do. I think I'm just sad that our wedding was supposed to be something that brings people excitement and joy, but instead with this virus it is bringing an overwhelming sense of uncertainty and worry.
We planned a destination wedding in Costa Rica for next summer and about a month ago some people we knew thought we were crazy for cancelling/postponing, but we knew the numbers would go up in our area. We are in Florida which is now seeing 9,000 positive cases in a single day. Costa Rica was one of the first to close their borders, even to CR residents who weren't in the country at the time so even they couldn't get back in until July 1st.
We booked a private property for all our guests where we would stay and also host the wedding. People have sent us money for their rooms and we were coming up on a payment milestone to complete the booking and didn't feel secure giving the venue that milestone payment. We've already given them 5 figures. If we gave them more, there was no guarantee we would get any of it back. There was no guarantee we would get the 5 figures we already gave them back... Some of our friends and family have completely lost their jobs so if we kept the wedding for next summer they would have to be looking at booking flights soon and we would have to put down 50% deposits for vendors. Luckily we only had the event planner and venue sorted before this happened. Mostly, the idea of sending more money to the property and vendors with no guarantee we would be able to even have the wedding, if people could travel, if there would even be a vaccine by next summer (worried about elderly and immunocompromised guests being at risk traveling through airports and living in close quarters for a week with other guests who have traveled from all over the world to get there).... the stresses really mounted. As much as we did not want to cancel and wanted to be hopeful, we felt we were at a crossroads. We're at a point in time where we can still give people their money back and not stress them about booking flights they may not be able to take... with money they have saved and nothing coming in. It made more sense to put our wants on hold and not expose our guests to such risk. Many will be disappointed that the wedding we got everyone excited for isn't happening... at least not as planned. I know they will understand, but it's all so unfortunate.
We love our friends and family and want to do the right thing. It's one thing for us to lose money on our wedding, but it's quite selfish to spend others' money knowing they really need it right now and might lose it entirely - or we would be put in a position where we feel we have to give it back and we can't afford to reimburse everyone.
Which leads me to just being plain sad. We decided on a long engagement to give people enough time to save money for the vacation wedding and to also give us time to enjoy the planning process. It took us 8 months to find the perfect place. Even though we hadn't booked vendors yet, we already knew which ones we wanted and had things organized ready to reach out this July... wedding was planned for July 2021. I had really fallen in love with the wedding we were about to plan... the place, the experience... now I don't know what we are going to do. I could say I am thankful for a clean slate and I do believe things happen for a reason, but the idea of starting this process all over again makes me not even want to plan a wedding at all.
We weren't able to get a refund on the 5 figures we gave the property and we won't get our deposit back from the wedding planner. Luckily, the property owner has allowed us to make a whole new booking with the money we've already given them. We scaled down to one house instead of 2, since most people won't come to Costa Rica if there is no wedding happening. Only family will stay in the house we're keeping, so now it's just an expensive family vacation. I'm still excited, but its also been pushed to 2022.... so the 2 year engagement has turned into a 3 year. My fiance is from England and his family can't afford to fly over here multiple times so if a wedding does happen, it will happen just before all of us go to Costa Rica.
Like I said, I'm very grateful I'm just really sad. Maybe there's someone out there feeling the same...
