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Sarah
Dedicated October 2021

Has anyone been married by a friend in Va?

Sarah, on June 7, 2021 at 2:54 PM Posted in Virginia Planning 0 4
TL;DR: has anyone successfully been married by a friend in Virginia? If so, which county allowed them to register as an officiant?


Full story: We want our dear friend to marry us. He’s ordained and has performed several weddings before, so we figured it wouldn’t be a problem. He just called the county clerk to register as an officiant in VA, and they told him that he's not allowed to register because he was ordained online and isn't a "real minister". Which is ridiculous and honestly feels like a civil rights violation – they’re essentially telling us that our marriage isn’t valid because we don’t belong to an organized religion.


We googled it and apparently VA is the only state where this happens regularly. The legal foundation for it is shaky at best and it seems to be entirely at the discretion of the county clerks – some clerks allow it and others don’t. The good news is that there are 95 county clerks and our friend only needs 1 to approve him in order for him to be legally recognized as an officiant in the state. So he just has to like...call every county in VA until one of them admits him as an officiant.

We'd obviously like to avoid him having to call all 95 counties, so I'm wondering which counties other people have had luck with. We'll call those first. Thank you so much in advance – I can't believe this is an issue in 2021 1f644.png

4 Comments

Latest activity by Grace, on June 9, 2021 at 2:08 PM
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    Hi Sarah! Is there any chance your friend lives in the county where you'll be getting married? If they live in that same county they can file for a one-time civil officiant license!

    You can also try reaching out to local officiants about doing a "license signing service" as a work-around: How To Have a Friend Marry You In Virginia.

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  • Sarah
    Dedicated October 2021
    Sarah ·
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    Thanks, Lynnie! Our friend isn't a VA resident, but my fiancé's parents do live in the county we'll be getting married in – maybe we'll have our friend do the public ceremony and have one of my fiancé's parents legally marry us afterwards.

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    Oh that's a great idea!! 🌟

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  • Grace
    Super February 2022
    Grace ·
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    My FH's best friend is going to be our officiant. He previously officiated for his sister's wedding as well so we know our city will allow it. He is filing for a one-time officiant's license since our City Clerk typically only gives full licenses to practicing clergy or religious leaders, not just anyone who has been ordained. Sorry you are running into this issue!


    Just a quick FYI, the County or City Sheriff for the area you are getting married in can also officiate. In my City it is a $50 fee and you just call the Sheriff's Office to schedule when and where the he will meet you to officiate your wedding.
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