Handfasting in a Christian Ceremony

Is your officiant religious? My best friend wanted to do this, but the officiant was strongly against it for religious reasons. They ended up with a sand ceremony.

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Ohh good point! We have not secured an officiant, but we were going to ask a pastor to officiate. Thanks for the heads up! I will need to check about that

View Quoted Comment You're welcome! I hope you get the ceremony you want!

Didn’t prince harry and Meghan Markle do that? And that was in the chapel, apart of the Church of England which is Protestant.

Super interested in this as well! We’re not getting married inside a church, so we have more freedom, but I’m wanting the same thing. I definitely want to incorporate Christianity, because that’s what we both believe in, but FH & I also both love the Game of Thrones vow of “I am yours and you are mine, from this day until my last day” along with the handfasting. Which, after researching, I’m seeing has Irish/Celtic ties as well. I’m also curious how anyone else has tied these types of things into a Christian ceremony!

View Quoted Comment Yes!!! Currently fangirling over what you commented because that’s exactly what we want too haha. We both love GOT too and want to do the vows like they do in addition to our own written vows. Yes, I too have now been reading that the hand fasting has Irish/Celtic ties as well. I think it will have to do with the pastor as the person above commented. For the Christianity part, we would want the pastor to incorporate some scripture and Christian values into his speech. I say speech because we aren’t going full sermon. Just something simple and to the point. I rather make the ceremony more about our vows and our unity ceremony.

View Quoted Comment Oh did they? I did not know! How cool!

"Pagan" or rather it originated from Celtic/Irish nationality. It's just not tied to a church. I would disagree with the labeling, because there are many unity ceremonies that nobody else names pagan if you know what I mean! Sorry this peeves me when I was looking up what to do for our own I kept seeing articles call it pagan! FH is Irish so I think it will be pretty cool for us to do, but I don't want our guests throwing around the idea that because it's not tied to the church that it's somehow weird or anti-religious. I mean we aren't getting married in a church though. My side of the family is Catholic and his side is Presbyterian. Hoping nobody in our families takes offense, but then again too bad. Nobody is out here saying planting a tree or pouring sand is pagan so it bugs me! I consider it a nice Irish tradition!

I have seen Christian weddings were they wrapped a strand of three cords around the bride and grooms hands.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

I don't think they tie a knot though but I'm not sure

View Quoted Comment I love this! 🙌🏻

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I love this as well!! Thank you so much for this!

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Yes, after more research, I have read that handfasting is also an Irish and Celtic tradition. I definitely would not openly say handfasting is pagan or comes from pagan rituals, so that is why I don't even think our guests would know the difference, haha. Hopefully we have some GOT fans, so they will just relate it to the show, haha. I just hope that the pastor we want to marry us will be okay with it. I wouldn't even call it pagan to the pastor. I would just say that we want to do a handfasting unity ceremony. Just keep it simple without explaining it.

We are also doing a handfasting for our June 2020 wedding!

I think a ceremony with pagan roots, if it brings you joy and has meaning for you, is wonderful!

However, based on my research (and watching entirely too many episodes of Four Weddings), I’ve found handfasting has many roots and connections to Christian and other wedding traditions. It might actually be one of the most universal wedding traditions out there! So, by including a handfasting in your wedding ceremony, you are drawing on ceremonies from many cultures that have been performed for centuries. What could be better!

I am a current Renaissance scholar (and general history buff), so I really wanted to have a grasp on its history once we decided to include it. As you probably know, there's not a lot of reliable information available about the history of handfasting. If you or anyone else is interested in more details, here are my main takeaways from my own research:

1. The word itself is not specifically pagan:

- The term "handfasting" historically refers to entering a contract (i.e. through a handshake)

- There is a long history of referring to Christian betrothals in England (both Catholic and Protestant) as "handfastings" (referring either to a legal betrothal, cemented by future tense vows ("I will"), or possibly to a legal marriage, cemented by present tense vows ("I do")).

- In The Great Bible, published 1539, Deuteronomy 22:22 (the one about stoning women, whoops) refers to an engaged woman as handfasted to a husband ("If a mayde be handfasted unto an husbande")

For more detailed history, I recommend this (semi-scholarly) article: http://medievalscotland.org/history/handfasting.shtml .

2. The actual ceremony, or act of physically tying together bodies, is found in many cultures and religious traditions.

- Greek Orthodox: The wedding crowns, or Stefana, are bound together with a ribbon to symbolize the couple's unity

- India: (Hindu): "Gathbandhan i.e. pact or coalition is meant to stand for the sacramental bond between the two individuals who are going to spend their entire life together with each other. In this wedding ritual, the dupatta of the beautiful bride and long scarf (patka) of the handsome groom are joined together which symbolizes the bond of togetherness and harmony, also known as Gathbandhan." ( source )

- Mexican, Filipino, and Spanish Christian weddings: during the ceremony, a wedding cord or lasso (el lazo), made of a large rosary or a white cloth, is draped over the shoulders of the couple in a figure 8 ( source ) .

- And many more I’ve left out, I’m sure! I remember reading about one tradition where guests come up and tie ribbons to the bride, but I can’t remember where it came from.

The moral is, do what brings you joy and has meaning! History backs you up here. Happy handfasting!

View Quoted Comment OUTLANDER had a beautiful handfasting ceremony in a Catholic church in Scotland, but it was 1743. Ha! Ha! I sent our pastor a note to see if he'd be willing to do old, very old like from the 1600's, traditional vows. He read them and said they'd work. Don't know if we'll try handfasting, but my fiancé is of Scottish decent and I'm of Irish. I think it'd be a beautiful ceremony. We are also not being married in a church, on our venues grounds, which gives us more leeway. I need to watch GOT.

Hi! So I am a devout pagan, and we will be having a hand-fasting with a traditional pagan ceremony in a cast circle (where the Priestess basically declares it a temporarily sacred space). So to answer your question: no, no one will know it’s pagan lol. Happy hand-fasting and many blessings to you

My FH and I are very devoted Christians. We’ve contemplated having hand fasting at our wedding because I grew up being told I had Scottish ancestry on both sides of my family and since I’ve loved all things Scottish. He also loves the symbolism of the Celtic knot.
We haven’t discussed it with the officiant yet but our meeting with my current pastor was canceled due to COVID and honestly I’m now contemplating going with my previous pastor who just retired 2 years ago but had been my pastor all my life.
It though for me would probably come down to ceremony flow. We’ve already planned a Unity Cross ceremony where we braid a cord of 3 that runs down the longer part of the cross. And the vows, a scripture reading, the ring ceremony. And I’m more concerned about there being too much in our ceremony.