Guest List Dilemma

You absolutely let her come to your wedding. She is the partner of your fiance's friend. He is close with her. In no uncertain circumstances is it appropriate for you to unilaterally decide to uninvite her.

She may be unpleasant, jealous and acting in a way that is extremely irritating. But I would just limit your contact with her. Say hi and then avoid her when you're around her. You won't have time to worry about her on your wedding day. Not inviting her would be hurtful to your fiance's friend and that will cause you way more issues than inviting her.

I think if you have a plus one on the invite, you( sorry hun) are gonna have to take it. It will suck, but, unless you have a tiny guest list, you should be able to do the nod at her in receiving line and ignore her to enjoy the rest of your guests. And maybe have FH tell his bud that he needs to keep an eye on her, and if it becomes an issue- let H know and have him ask his bud to say something about “hey let’s go for a walk?” Not “what’s wrong with you? Why are you trying to make this about you?” As it will give her toooo much power( I’m thinkin of a drama princess in my life I am trying to implore this tactic on)

There is one friend of my FH who I absolutely abhor! He is a user, in my opinion, and had the nerve to tell me- in my own home, at FH guys-only-poker party, as I was walking a guest/friend to the door as he was leaving- “You can go back to the kitchen!” He wasn’t joking. I told FH he can come to games but MUST leave after- even if he purposely drinks( the most expensive liquor!) and gets drunk- even if I have to call an über/Lyft! He is coming, and that is fine- as long as he stays the hell away from me!
With that said, I WILL have “bouncers” at my wedding( long story, F-inlaw drama) to prevent “stupid” from getting too close to me. You get stupid you get gone, don’t care who ya are: my dad, his 22yo daughter..... I am having drama free to whatever degree I can!

You gotta take one for the team. I just spent hours at the same party with FHs friends fiance. She didn't speak one word to me lol. I don't think we have spoken since the day I met her. Idk. I'd rather her not come to my wedding. Idk why they even would. Unless she has done something other than be petty, I think you have to suck it up unfortunately.

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Emily thank you so much for the advice I appreciate it!

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Thank you Jennifer! It's just hard to deal with someone that is purposely trying to sabotage a special event and steal my joy.

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Thanks Steph! I'm just going to avoid her at all cost.

View Quoted Comment It will be easier than you think. There will be a lot of people that want your attention!

As one who has several like that: I FEEL YA ****%! It will be interesting to see how this plays out.

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And as someone else said - you definitely won't have time for her. I actually didn't even see my own mother much on our wedding day!

Just minimize your contact with her as much as possible and know that she is making herself look silly.

I have a very similar circumstance happening. My FH's best friend's FH is the exact same way. I can't stand her. They got engaged (conveniently) 2 months after we did after only dating for a short time and since then, she likes to make the wedding talk about her even though we are getting married well before them. I really wanted to not have her present at any of our wedding events, but unfortunately, when they are the significant other to your FH's friend, you just have to suck it up and play nice

I do, however, think you get a say on inviting her to bridal showers, bridal luncheons, bachelorette parties, etc..

Good luck!!!!

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Megan thank you so much! I will take one for the team and just avoid her. She is not invited to my bachelorette.

I would just invite her, chances are you won’t even notice her anyways. Just avoid her when she’s around (I do that to my fiancé’s friends girlfriends😂). If it bothers you too much, just say something to her.

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I agree that thankfully, wedding days are so busy, you won't have to pay her much mind on the day of.

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Thanks Shannon.

Wow, it's honestly surprising to read that other people are saying you should invite her. I was going to write the opposite. It's not even bc I am trying to be rude or petty, but because I just can't even imagine having ANY negativity at our wedding. At the same time, so much will be going on (all amazing) and if it is a big wedding there will be so many other people to enjoy the day with. Good thing to keep in mind.

Unfortunately, I don't see how you can uninvite her without causing a pretty big rift between your fiance's friend and both of you. That said, I definitely would not be associating with her apart from fiance's friend anymore. If she calls, tell her you're busy and hang up. Don't invite her other places or offer to do anything with her. You don't need to put up with her nonsense any more than necessary. Hopefully, there won't be too many necessary occasions!

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Theresa thank you so much! I stopped inviting her out places and have been staying away from her. She is truly toxic.

Unfortunately you need to invite her. I'm in a similar situation with someone that is just makes it so hard for me to even tolerate. You'll be so busy on your day you won't see much of her!

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Thanks Nicole. It's just tough having someone at your wedding that secretly hates you because she is a Jealous, Envious, Insecure Narcissist who will probably try and sabotage my special day.

View Quoted Comment I wouldn't want my FH dictating my guest list unless it was an extreme situation. A girl being gossipy, petty and stupid isn't extreme. It's rude and pointless, sure. Violence, drug use, etc. I consider that extreme. I get where you're coming from though lol. It would be nice to keep anyone with a negative attitude at bay.