Friend Advice

( It's almost like the Narc may have discarded her and now all of a sudden I am good enough)


I think you’re dead on. I’d cut her out.

Toxic people have no place in anyone's life

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I have been leaning towards staying no contact with her and cutting her off but A part of me feels bad because It feels like I am being mean and I am not a mean person. She also has been stalking me on social media almost like she is watching my every move.

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I was thinking the same thing but I feel like I am being mean and that's not who I am.

I would cut her off. With a friend like that who needs enemies. If she could easily switch up on you for someone else what makes you think she wouldn’t do it again if the Narc and her became close again. Do you really want to put that stress on yourself again? I had a friend like that who only came around when it was convenient and when it wasn’t she disappeared. I had to let that toxicity go because it was draining on my mental health.

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Thank you for your advice. That had been on my mind as well that she would do the same thing all over again to me than try to pop back into my life when it's convenient for her.

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It's not mean. It's self care and boundaries which are both vital to your mental health.

View Quoted Comment It’s not mean to protect yourself. If she were to reach out with an apology or acknowledgment that’s be different but if she’s going to act like nothing happened I don’t think she’ll be different this time around.

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She is definitely acting like nothing ever happened and just assumes I am going to welcome her with open arms and hang out with her again.

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EXACTLY. It is not rude or mean to take your own mental well-being into account when ending a friendship.

You're not ending the friendship out of malice. You're doing it because you gain nothing from staying in this relationship.

Don't respond and give reasons. Just ignore them and move on. You're better off without that toxicity OP.

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Thank you for the advice. It's appreciated.

Have you talked to her about any of it? If a very close friend of mine started acting completely differently, I'd want to make sure she was okay. I'd have a serious conversation with her before cutting her out completely.

Sometimes people fall under the spell of another person. Their values change, and they turn on long term friends. Think of school cliques, the mean girls always have plenty of nice girls around.... At some point your friend likely began to see the narcissistic one for who she was, and realized that in courting her friendship, she made a big mistake, losing you and other friends. I would give her another chance, if she had truly been a friend before.

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I have had a conversation with her about it. And she did not seem to care much.

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I understand, However she is a grown adult ( She is older than me) and should know right from wrong.

View Quoted Comment I fully agree. Yet I see it happen, teenagers to about age 40. Some new and glamorous or magnetic guy or gal who is all full or themselves, their own greatest promoter. And for a while, friendships are fractured and marriages are strained as some usually rational person changes. They become the wonderful person's sycophant, and treat normal friends and spouse badly. Til at some point something happens that makes them see the great person is a manipulative narcissist. And they have hurt or lost real friends.
... People make mistakes, often whoppers, at all ages. And with someone who previously was a friend, I would extend the olive branch. Because I am not perfect, myself.🙃

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Thank you! I will say I have given her a few chances and she still turns around and does the same thing to me. I am not sure how many more chances I should give. It has become toxic.

View Quoted Comment If this has been a repeated thing, maybe it is time to end things. Friendships wax and wane, and then never reach light again.

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Yes it has been a repeated thing, She would always lie to me and try and devalue me to make it seem like I am less than. It seems like a form of abuse., I have tried to give her chances and she just does it all over again. After reading all of these comments I have decided to just cut all ties with her. Thank you everyone for all the advice.