formal wear dress code

That's a big ask from your guests. Does the formalwear request match the event that you're having? Like is it at a formal location? Do you have elements of a formal wedding like valet parking, live band, plated meal, white glove service etc? If not, there will be a mismatch between your event and the dress requirement (which by technically by etiquette is rude unless for a black tie event).

View Quoted Comment I think an art gallery is a pretty formal setting for a wedding

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Again, it's a big ask for your guests. If you're requesting formal wear, it's polite to have the elements expected of a black tie wedding. You can google it, but there are a lot of things to consider. I only mentioned a few of them.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for sharing, while everyone has their own ideas for their special day, this is what OUR special day will look like. Attendance is ALWAYS optional, and offense is never taken if the preferences aren't suitable for the guests

View Quoted Comment Setting a dress code has always been one of the host’s prerogatives. A black tie wedding is hardly out of order.

View Quoted Comment I think everyone SHOULD get exactly what they want on their special day! Our ceremony will be extremely intimate, elegant and classic. We will recite our nuptials on a theater stage, followed by an art gallery reception, surrounded by one of a kind pieces from local artists

We are having a Black Tie wedding. If you choose to label it as black tie, then your wedding should take place after 6pm, men must wear tuxedos and women will wear evening floor length or tea length dresses. You have an option to do Black Tie Optional though. This will tell your guest to dress up in suits w/ tie and ladies in evening dresses. Men will still have the option to wear a tux if preferred. If you choose one of the two be sure to be very clear with guests and tastefully state it on your paper invitations.

Since your wedding will take place at an art gallery, I'd imagine you should be safe from people strolling in wearing more casual attire.

Good luck & Happy planning!

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I didn't say that it was.

"Black tie" is not really a dress code though, according to etiquette. It's a description of the level of formality of the whole event, and the type of hosting to expect.

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Sounds lovely!

“Black tie” on the invitation is what indicates a formal event. This is not directly speaking a dress code, rather if you want formal attire then you need to be hosting a truly formal event. In any case it would be inappropriate to write “formal attire” because it would be redundant and because guests are presumed to be adults who can figure out what black tie means if they don’t already know. If it’s not black tie then formal attire is actually improper.

It's a know-your-crowd type of thing. If your guests are used to formal wear events, then black tie should not be a big ask as they have long gowns and tuxedos already in their closet. An art gallery venue can be a fantastic time to be fashion- forward though and I would encourage you to let guests express themselves with either "creative black tie" or "black-tie optional" which you can list on the bottom corner of the details card for clarity. See the long list of rules for black-tie, but if you can't arrange valet and a live band at this late hour, then I wouldn't press formal attire. Your guests may lean towards full-length dresses and suit jackets in December by default which is still elegant. Have fun and best wishes.

It truly is about knowing your guests and your tolerance for deviation. For example, we hosted a semi formal wedding in Texas in September. It would be unreasonable to expect guests to dress in long dresses and tuxedos because it’s too hot. And in Texas a nice pressed pair of dark denim and
$300 cowboy boots is considered formal to some.
If someone does not fit your expectation I would be ready to accept that and let them feel out of place because how your guests dress is a *very* small part of your special day and you don’t even have time to notice or comment. Expectations are hard to let go of but with weddings you don’t have a choice but to expect the unexpected. Good luck and congrats!

View Quoted Comment Thanks sooo much! Not everyone will agree with MY choice and I think that is perfectly fine

View Quoted Comment Absolutely! I think my guests are going to get creative and have fun during the holiday season showing off some of their more fashionable pieces!

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Is it truly a black-tie wedding? White glove service, passed hors d'oeuvres? Sit down 5 course meal, live band? If the wedding doesn't have the aspects of a black tie affair, you really cannot enforce a black tie dress code.

View Quoted Comment Just keep in mind that “it’s my day” goes out the window the minute you invite guests and it affects them. Or it should.

View Quoted Comment ATTENDANCE is always optional for any invite that you receive. Don't ever feel forced to accommodate others at your expense. With "US" having a more mature crowd
, they will appreciate having an event where appearance and experience are elegant, classic and intimate

View Quoted Comment Yes! Yes!!! We have a FULL experience for our guests that will leave them with MEMORIES of Our special day forever! Including a favor unlike a typical bag of mints!

View Quoted Comment You might have saved people a lot of time by saying that in the first place if that’s really the case. You gave the impression that you were asking people to dress formally at a non-black tie affair. Since you are now saying it IS a black tie affair, the invitation itself would say “Black tie.” No need for additional directions or to spell out a dress code. That would only imply you think your guests can’t be trusted or can’t read.

View Quoted Comment She never said anything to indicate it WASN’T either. I read it that way from the beginning and couldn’t figure out why people were jumping all over her assuming she wasn’t entertaining properly.