fmil Baby Fever

I dont think it's selfish at all. Every couple is different. My FH and I also want to wait a bit before deciding to have kids. My best friend, on the other hand, decided to have kids right away. Maybe share your thoughts with FMIL so she stops asking you about it so often. If she understands that you're not planning on becoming pregnant before a certain time, she will relax a bit. I'm sure she's just so excited to be a grandmother!

My FMIL has made numerous comments that she's expecting grandkids like "I hope I'm still alive when I get to see my grandkids". I kind of brush it off because I think she's just thinking about little ones since FFIL passed over a year ago. We've been together for 6 years so it's bound to happen in the next couple of years, but not right away! I think your FMIL is just excited!

My ex husband and I agreed that we would wait 3-5 years after our wedding to have a baby. It ended up taking 6 years.


It’s not selfish to wait until you’re ready.

It's not selfish to wait. It's much better to wait until you're really ready instead of jumping into something you're not emotionally prepared for. My mom started asking when #2 was going to be while I was still pregnant with our daughter xD Parents are gonna ask, but she should accept it and respect your decision.

I got married five months ago and the questions about when are we going to have kids have been coming in hot. Aha. I'm planning to wait for a long time since I'm still young enough to. But I don't think it's selfish at all. It makes so much sense to want to build more of your lives together

It's not selfish to wait. Having children is a life altering decision. Do so when you two are ready. My parents have been on me for years (even before we got married). My MIL has made a few comments here and there recently as well (we got married this past July). Grandchildren are exciting, so I understand the desire. I just brush it off, but it does get a bit annoying at times. However, I'm in grad school and they understand we don't have the time or money to raise a child right now. My mom is actually the worst offender in reminding me I'm not getting any younger (I'm 29). My MIL just casually mentions that she's available for babysitting every now and then. Some of our parents have started becoming grandparents (and my parents are from my older brother), so I think that just adds to it.

I dont think it's selfish.
One of my coworkers is 38 weeks pregnant and yesterday she made a comment of "it's bittersweet. I've been with my h for 7 years and any day now, it could be over. I like this life of the 2 of us!" She's excited about the next chapter too but I can see why waiting is better for some couples. They travel the world together!
On the other hand, my H and I have been married since May (together 4 years) and we're also expecting! We got pregnant right away, a very planned baby because we wanted to start our family asap and I'm thrilled about it. We are more homebodies so it's just a completely different lifestyle.

You’re not being selfish. You two are the only people who can make the decision about when the right time to have kids is - don’t bow to pressure from others. Your FH might need to tell his mother to back off a bit and that you’re not planning on kids for a few years so please could she stop mentioning it.

Not selfish at all!!! In fact, I think it's more selfish to get pregnant before you're ready to take on the responsibilities of parenthood.

I think you are smart to know what you want, and to wait until the time is right for you.

Having said that, I am also a grandma, and it's the greatest thing EVER!!!! So, I can fully imagine where FMIL is coming from. She wants grandbabies! You can't really blame her. Just reassure her that you will be starting a family--when it's right for you. Tell her she'll be the first to know!

I'm not having any kids AT ALL and I also get comments about it. People telling me "you'll change your mind/you're selfish, blah blah blah". You have to remember that YOU are the one who ultimately has to birth and deal with said children all the time, not the grandparents who want the kodak moments-so when and if you have them is NOT their call.

Not at all! Parents tend to do that. My mom always brings up our kids too, even though we've told her we wanna wait. We'll have them when we're ready and she'll just kinda have to wait for them lol. I would try to brush it off, in my experience thats kinda how it goes.

Not selfish at all! We are 27, getting married in April after 6 years together (2 engaged), and are not having children (or beginning trying) until we turn 30. We want a few years to enjoy being married!

Oh girl my dad wants a grandchild SO bad he finds a way to bring it up in every. Single. Conversation. We laugh at him lol and just say let us get to the wedding first. They’re just excited that’s all

Not selfish at all, I have dealt with this and my mil since the day we started dating basically. At first I'd laugh it off and just ignore it but she kept pushing it and a few days before our wedding my mil's mother flew in for the event and I met my husbands grandma for the 1st time, she loved me and could not be happier with being there with us. During that visit my mil began with her shenanigans in front of her mother and I simply said "Whenever God decides its our time it'll happen but until it happens we'll just enjoy each other" she made a follow up comment about she's not getting younger and her mom told her to stop and let us enjoy each other before we have a baby. Since then she really didn't say much then recently she mentioned it again and I told her that maybe my sister in law/her daughter would have a baby first and she was highly offended because like she responded "She's only 23 but you're 31" lol. Nothing since then!