Fi's father and side of the family feel like they are just going to show up to the wedding/they feel left out need advice on including them more

First, I'd stop posting those kind of things on social media. That was just asking for trouble. Also, I hope everyone who can see those posts is invited to your wedding. That said, hosting a wedding is different than contributing to it and you don't necessarily "buy" hosting honors. If the contribution came with string or an expectation that FFIL would be involved with the selection of vendors etc. that should have been made clear. Sometimes it's better to have a parent be involved with a specific vendor, for example, music or decor.

As far as his comment that he and his kids are in the B group, I think the other implication here is he or his children are hurt or offended that FI's half siblings aren't in the wedding party.

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My FI's father said he was fine with our choices regarding venues, decorations, etc. He said he was hurt that he didn't go to the venus like my parents were when they went with us to talk to vendors. My parents didn't make choices or suggestions, they just hung out with us when we were talking to people. I think my FIL's dad just wanted to be around.

FI's dad didn't say anything about being hurt about the kids not being in the wedding party. He just felt they were left out.

I would echo the concern about posting wedding planning activities on social media. Honestly I would stop doing that, because it can make people feel some type of way, as you're seeing.

I don't think you need to appease the feelings of everyone that wants a special role in your wedding. You'll be bending over backwards trying to do that.

If you're feeling like you do want to include them, you could make them ushers. I would wait until closer to the day to make decisions like that.

In terms of what to say when people ask about their role in the wedding, something like "oh, it's early days yet we're not sure what we're going but we're trying to honour our dearest folks by having them as guests".

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My wedding is in late August, we aren't in the early days anymore.

I don't want my FI's family to feel like guests who are just showing up.

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I did suggest they could be ushers. Other options would be for them to do a reading. They are a bit old for ring bearer/flower girls.

If you're inclined you could add them to the wedding party, but late additions usually feel/look like a consolation prize.

The key here is for them not to feel like an afterthought, which is why I suggested something to say indicating that you haven't thought about it yet.

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We already picked our ushers and readers for the wedding.

What about having all of them walk down the aisle at the very beginning and lighting a candle at the start of the processional?

I would suggest having them walk down the aisle at the start to be seated in the first rows. Maybe introduced to the reception before the wedding party too. From your post and comments I think he's feeling more left out of the planning though. If you can or haven't done it yet, maybe invite him to the tasting? Have him involved in the rehearsal dinner planning?

It also could be nice to plan a dinner with them to spend some time together and just talk about wedding stuff

I would suggest having them walk down the aisle at the start to be seated in the first rows. Maybe introduced to the reception before the wedding party too. From your post and comments I think he's feeling more left out of the planning though. If you can or haven't done it yet, maybe invite him to the tasting? Have him involved in the rehearsal dinner planning?

It also could be nice to plan a dinner with them to spend some time together and just talk about wedding stuff

View Quoted Comment He may not be interested in spelling it out, but I think there’s a good chance he would have been happy to see them with some involvement in the ceremony. I doubt he meant they would be interested in touring venues.

In your place, I’d have made them our junior bridesmaids/groomsman. They can walk down the aisle, and mostly have the honor of the title, be dressed up, be in photos etc. Sides do not have to be even or if there is really no room, just have them sit after walking.

Inviting him/them to the cake or caterer tastings could be a good way to get them involved in the planning, if you don’t already have that done.

Is Fi close to his family? Because no offense from this post it does seem like your family has been heavily involved and his has only been invited as guests. This is not all on you though your fiancee should have kept them in the loop and thought of his family feelings. If he s close to his family and you want a relationship with his siblings I d make room for them to do something in the wedding and apologize for any hurt feelings. Moving forward remember there are 2 families involved now and do your best to be inclusive.