Fiancé groomsman dilemma

Feelings could be hurt, but if he feels deeply about it, he should just be honest. Your FH should have a conversation with him and say hey I don't want you to feel like you're a backup choice but I appreciate how much you've supported me especially over the last few months and I'd love to have you stand by my side on my wedding day. I already asked a few guys to be my groomsmen a few months ago but I feel like our friendship has grown in recent months.

Some people may say this is offensive, but we actually just went through this. My FH originally wanted 9 groomsmen, I said no and compromised at 7, 2 of his groomsmen were removed from the wedding party, so he asked one of the "backups" to be a groomsmen. The guy knew the original groomsmen had already been chosen and that he was a replacement, but he was SO happy to be apart of our day when he was asked. He's actually the one now taking the initiative to plan the bachelor party and making sure everyone has their stuff together

I think he should still ask him! We had a bridesmaids and bestman drop out of our wedding and I ended up asking 2 bridesmaids and 2 groomsmen to join after the fact.

Also my fiance had been planning to ask his brother from the beginning, but was one of the last to get his proposal box because we wanted to give it to him in person. He is in the military and was stationed in Alaska, we waited until he came back and we were able to see him in person.

I think he should ask him if he feels its right!

I was in a similar situation, and i just explained to my friend (we got a lot closer this last year than the previous year when we originally got engaged) and she was soo excited that i felt that way and she said it had crossed her mind how fun it would be if she were a bridesmaid also but didn't want to ask me.

I'm sure if you FH explains it he wold completely understand. My thoughts was "If I would regret not asking her at all, ecspecially if she is someone that i feel that will be important in our lives for a long time"

I can't help wondering if this is all "womanly" input and opinion. Would guys really feel that hurt being asked later than others to be a groomsman? I can't help feeling like the answer there is a big "no."

I wouldn't even mention the delay. I would just ask him to be a groomsman. If he presses or asks, then a simple "I needed time to make sure I'm asking the right people" should suffice. It doesn't have to suggest that he was a "back up" - how does he know that your FH didn't pick groomsman #1 before he even proposed and groomsman #2 a month before you sent out the STDs? Unless there was some party or gift exchange that would show they were picked at the same time, he doesn't.

This really boils down to your FH and the friend and the nature of their friendship. If he's as excited and supportive as you say, he likely won't care about being asked later. You do have a point about feeling like an afterthought, but I've generally seen that not really be an issue when the person is a friend and not a relative. The biggest thing I would say is to just be honest. If your FH wants to ask his friend, absolutely go for it. Be honest if the friend asks about any delay in choosing, but don't necessarily offer the information up. Some things don't need to be said.