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Dedicated October 2024

Ffils girlfriend ?

Nelia, on November 23, 2023 at 2:09 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8

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Hello fellow brides and brides to be ! Happy thanksgiving 🦃! Are any of yall going to see your future in laws for thanksgiving? Me and my FH have made the decision to go see my FFIL and FGIL, but we hesitated because of my FFILs girlfriend . He’s been with her for 3 years and over the summer she said and did horrible things to my fiancé and his family . This woman has been verbally , emotionally and physically abusive to my FFIL . The one thing that I couldn’t forgive was the day I said yes to my dress over this past summer my FH came home crying that night after she screamed at him over the phone for stuff that didn’t involve him but his dad and her . Since this past summer I’ve made the decision to cut her off completely. I haven’t said a word to her since this past summer when she burned the bridge with me and my FH. Everyone in my fiancés dad’s side of the family can see how this woman is toxic and we all wish he could just leave her. Now I will have to face her today on Thanksgiving. How would yall handle this situation? My fiancé said she will not be allowed at our wedding next October but I am worried she’s going to find out where our wedding will be at and show up to our wedding unannounced and uninvited and make a terrible scene and ruin our special day . I don’t know how to feel and we will be leaving soon to see my fiancés family today. She’s probably going to ask about our upcoming wedding and I refuse to speak to her . The only reason we going to see my fiancés dad and his grandma. Any advice would be appreciated.

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Nelia, on November 25, 2023 at 11:13 PM

Rockstar June 2030
Skylar · on November 24, 2023 at 6:29 PM
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Not so sure about thanksgiving, but for your wedding, definitely consider hiring a security guard
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on November 24, 2023 at 8:21 PM
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Can fiancé talk to his dad and explain why you both are hesitant to invite the girlfriend? While people don’t talk about it, domestic abuse by women towards men does exist but it goes largely unreported, adding to the stigma that it is not real. Ignore the girlfriend and don’t engage in any conversation.

In the situation that someone is toxic: abusive, violent, homophobic, racist, and so on, you are never required to invite the abusive partner. You also have to accept that the victim that you do want to attend will decline because the abuser holds the attendance over their head and creates a much worse situation for them behind closed doors. Let dad know that you support him when he’s ready leave her. Also, many venues require security, and this situation is one of part of their job description.
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Dedicated October 2024
Nelia · on November 25, 2023 at 9:43 PM
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Thank you , she apologized the night of thanksgiving the way she has treated my FFIL and my FH . I still don’t know if she will actually be sincere about getting better about things . My FH said she was abused by the men she’s dated in the past , and her mother was abusive too . My mother abused me , but I didn’t let it continue . Me and my FH, are equals in our relationship, and I see a lot of my past of being abused by family and men in my FFILs girlfriend . I think me talking to her about how she disrespected my FH, my FFIL and FGIL over the summer made her to realize if she wanted to a relationship with me and my FH and keep her bf my FFIL wanting to stay with her then she needed to make things right with my FH, his family and I . My FH , said we will see if we can continue to trust her. I am still hesitant to allow her to be a guest at our wedding next year , but I just feel worried about it , yes we do plan to have security at our wedding
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Dedicated October 2024
Nelia · on November 25, 2023 at 9:45 PM
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Me and my FH have long agreed we plan to have security at our wedding . Not just for my FFILs girlfriend but also for family members of mine and my FHs are worried who will start issues at our wedding
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Rockstar June 2030
Skylar · on November 25, 2023 at 11:02 PM
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Okay, that's good! That way you can be sure that everyone at your wedding is safe from their bad behavior
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Dedicated October 2024
Nelia · on November 25, 2023 at 11:07 PM
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Yes ! We just don’t want to take that risk , some of our family we feel we need to invite or the family that is decent may not come . It’s a very sticky situation but FH agrees we don’t want either one of stressed out on our wedding day . We hired a planner for our wedding too to take the stress of planning it ourselves off of our shoulders . We got 11 months till our wedding and I just feel better that our planner will be able to figure out the vision for our wedding , as well as helping me keep both of stress free . I am a teachers assistant and working on my teaching certification and my fiancé has a demanding job as well .
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Rockstar June 2030
Skylar · on November 25, 2023 at 11:09 PM
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That's smart! I hope your wedding planning process is smooth sailing from this point forward
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Dedicated October 2024
Nelia · on November 25, 2023 at 11:13 PM
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Yes! I am just glad me and future hubby are in agreement about what we want in regarding our family and how we will handle certain situations.
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