Father Bride Dance

My father walked me down the aisle, and we have a fantastic relationship. And we still didn’t do the father daughter dance. Personally, I don’t enjoy spotlight dances, and find them incredibly awkward and a bit old fashioned. Most of the weddings I’ve been to in recent years have eliminated spotlight dances altogether, so it shouldn’t be a big deal to just eliminate the dance. I wouldn’t even bring it up. Many times if something isn’t brought to other peoples’ attention, it goes completely unnoticed. If, however, he asks you about it, simply tell him you fine spotlight dances awkward so you and SO have decided not to include them in your reception. End of conversation.

View Quoted Comment That’s super great advice and that would definitely work except I am going to dance with my mom and my FH is dancing with his mom as well. If he would question it maybe I could just say I didn’t think he would really want to (especially because he hates to dance)

We’ve been to many weddings over the years and never once seen a father daughter dance in real life outside of YouTube or the movies. The majority of brides in question had a great relationship with their fathers, and some were escorted down the aisle by either fathers or other male relative/friend. They said they didn’t consider a dance because it wasn’t done in those social circles. The current generation tends to push towards having no escort at all down the aisle because they incorrectly see it as automatically equating being traded as property, which is not what takes place. Either way, whether you have an escort or not, whether you have a dance or not, neither are related in any way.


I didn’t invite my father because he’s a toxic person whom I have never had any relationship with. I had a different escort and no father daughter dance, nor felt any pressure to have one, because it’s not done in our families. No one cared about something that would be unfamiliar. If you don’t have a relationship with dad every other day of your life, don’t pretend on your wedding day that you are BFFs. If father gets angry about no dance, which he logically should not when there is no relationship between you, then that is a him problem to seek therapy for. It is not your concern how other people act and choose whether or not to regulate their emotions.

So I have a very similar relationship with my dad. I didn’t have him walk me, which did bother him, but it was important to me that I wasn’t walked by him but specifically that I walked myself. To not seem like a complete ass I did a father daughter dance but since it made me uncomfortable my husband and I did a combined parent dance because his mother wanted to dance with him. She was willing to not do it so I didn’t feel any pressure but I didn’t want them to miss that moment. So they agreed for all 4 of us to dance at the same time. We danced for about a minute. It was uncomfortable but I made it through and I don’t necessarily regret it

Dancing exclusively with your husband and having no other special dances is common but so are father daughter dances, especially when the groom is dancing with his mom. I suppose you can frame it as giving your mom equal recognition being that he walked you down the aisle.

View Quoted Comment I actually love that idea of saying I want to give both my parents the recognition! That might be the way to go that way his feelings don’t get hurt.

I also don't have a great relationship with my dad, but my situation was the opposite. I told him I wanted to walk myself down the aisle and compromised with having a father-daughter dance.


To absolutely no one's surprise, as we were lining up for the Grand Entrance into the reception, my brother came out and said dad didn't want to do a dance anymore. Cool, Pops, didn't want one anyway. My husband still did his mother-son dance of course.

My advice for your situation is maybe a mother-daughter dance as mentioned above, or just let him know that you just really don't want a dance. My dad didn't like I was walking myself down the aisle, but got over it pretty quick.