Family Negativity

Have had years of issues/differences between my husband’s family and I.
Mainly between my sister-in-law and I. (My husband’s brother’s wife)
Pretty much to sum it up (unless y’all would really like more details—I’ll for sure give more. But just wanted to send the jist that way there’s hopefully less for y’all to read as well lol—I’m also so emotionally physically and spiritually exhausted from all this I’d rather not talk about it any longer if I don’t have to. But I don’t mind sharing the story along with more detail if necessary just because I want closure, peace and to be able to move on from this. I just don’t understand why it’s so difficult to have happy/healthy relationships in my life. Especially relationships that are family/supposed to be family)
Ultimately she just thinks I’m the worst and it shows/I can definitely for sure easily feel it.(Probably doesn’t help I’m also a natural empath, but even for everyone around that isn’t an empath it’s still transparent and easy for everyone else to see) Every. Single. Time. I’m ever around her. Negativity has just oozed out of her towards me. There were also so many times that she also has acted as if I’m not even there. She has expressed that she thinks I’m pretty much this “ terrible person that is always fake, but during rare times I’m not (kind of a contradiction here however because how can it be ‘always’ then say there are times I’m not? If I’m always fake then there shouldn’t ever be any other times that I’m any different. Always is always. But wtfever. Again as you’ll see or especially hear from the rest of this is that she has so many contradictions and even especially lies as far as her opinion of me and who I am/what I’m about etc)Also has said that I’m only ever about material things and about my appearance “ etc etc. also that” I take advantage of my husband, don’t ever/haven’t ever contributed to my family. “Just a lot of negative bs. And that’s ultimately what it is. Bs. Nothing what she said was true. At all.
I have tried so many times to express this to her because (especially when they have children) I didn’t want to have this strain between us. (Which is (as of now) apparently even worse than it was before because I finally stood up for myself with the last talk we had because I got so tired of her behavior and seriously toxic environment she has made for me when I’m around her.) I don't think she is necessarily a toxic person or even a bad person/deliberately meaning to do any of this/be this way. I think she is just seriously misguided/misinformed and hasn’t honestly ever given me an actual chance-gotten to know me.
Even after so many times I’ve not just tried to invite her to get to know me (and times she’s turned those invites down) but also especially and surprisingly after her and I being around each other for years. (For at LEAST once a week every week) I really feel that it all is due to her ultimately holding the past against me since she was unfortunately around when my husband and I went through some of our toughest years of our relationship. So they saw the good the bad and the immensely ugly. But we came through it and are even stronger due to those times are also where we are today because of it. My SIL and BIL also were able to see us (DH & I) grow from there/when we were able to make up despite our differences and mistakes and also see us at some of our best times.
There was just an obvious flip with her that completely switched, since when we first met and before my DH and I’s relationship became essentially on the rocks; her and I were just fine. But after the toughest times with my husband and I.. There was a clear change. Stopped sending messages to me, no more girls night in invites, night chats, getting our nails done together. Nothing.
Regardless I feel she is just seeing what she wants to see no matter what. And it doesn’t matter nor ever mattered/will ever matter what I do or say. She’s always going to think, do/believe whatever she wants. Whether it’s the whole truth or not..this is how she’s being. Not just a feeling because again with our last convo there were sooo many things she accused me of/judged me for that I have NEVER done. So I feel she needs to get off her high horse and just stop being this way-actually choose to even just at least try to get to know me.

In saying this/venting about this tough situation and her behavior I know I’m not perfect. Never will be. And I’ve made mistakes just like everyone else. And for these mistakes I have apologized for, worked on, became better/always do my best every day to be a better version of myself & grown from the mistakes I’ve made. On that note as well though—I don’t see how I ever owe her any apologiesEspecially not for anything I have apologized for/for things she was upset at me for. If anyone should ever be upset with my behavior (especially past behavior) & expect an apology along with improved behavior-it should be my husband!-Or at least that’s how I feel. I don’t want her and I to be best friends or anything. Nor even do I expect that.
I just wanted an actual family and someone I thought would, could, should be a part of my family and we should treat each other as such as well with a certain level of respect maybe even after years of growth we could’ve potentially grown to have like a sister relationship. Or just definitely I at least wanted something even a little better than how our relationship was.
Again I know that we all have flaws and can have toxic tendencies as well as even narcissistic tendencies and that there are just sometimes some people that you just seriously and simply can’t mesh well with. It happens. And if/when it does: that’s okay
It’s life.
You’re not meant to be everyone’s cup of tea.
I just feel that there should just even be a slightly better relationship between her and I.
I also honestly don’t appreciate her lies and down right hurtful/terrible opinions of me. I know that’s all they ultimately are just opinions and I feel that’s simply just a show of her own true self and character as well as maturity. But I feel that when it again makes it into a toxic environment for me (or any other said person that deals with/has dealt with situations like this. Especially from a family member)That it then becomes not okay. And there should be improvements made.
Some help with this: opinions, advice, even prayers would be greatly appreciated. I’m really having a tough time with this.
Thanks in advance. 🖤🖤🖤