Elopement Etiquette?

You definitely don’t have to invite your photographer. You’re paying them for a set number of hours, and if you don’t want them working your reception, there’s no need to have them stick around.


Traditionally, inviting the officiant was proper etiquette. In the past when people used their pastor from their church, they would have a pre-existing relationship with that person. Most guides still recommend inviting the officiant to the reception even if they’re a hired stranger, and then they will almost certainly say no. I will say that our hired officiant is attending our (very intimate, 12-person) rehearsal brunch, and I’m actually really excited that she’ll have the chance to get to know us better before the ceremony. That’s a little different, of course, but in most cases the hired strangers will graciously decline any additional invitations.

Great question, but I think it is completely your decision. For me, I would invite the officiant, but probably not the photographer. Nonetheless, I think you can do what you please without breaking any etiquette rules

View Quoted Comment I know the officiant (he was a previous pastor), but the groom doesn’t. I also feel if I invite him then do I need to invite his wife and if his wife attends then his kids and it just creates a cascade.

View Quoted Comment While it would be polite to invite the wife, I definitely don’t think you need to go so far as to include the kids. And that might be the thing that makes them dip out.