Dress or Jumpsuit

Why can't your friend just wear a suit that would match the groomsmen? Your friend doesn't have to be in the exact same outfit as the bridesmaids. I had bridesman on my side and he wore the same tux as the groomsmen. My husband also had a groomswoman and she matched the bridesmaids.

View Quoted Comment Honestly it’s mainly because they have awful social anxiety, the fact they said yes to standing up really surprised me because of how bad it is, and my fiancé and my families will go up nonstop to ask what their deal is. Both sides are supportive of dating preference, but gender identity they don’t get and are be really in your face about how it’s whatever God put between your legs. I personally don’t care and am supportive of self expression and identity, but I know that I can’t run interference for them all night with both families and I don’t want them having a panic attack and not having fun at the wedding. The suit jacket I can just play it off as a lesbian thing (my sister does it all the time with her stuff) and have that be that. The suit is a little harder as they still present very much as female with a male closet.

View Quoted Comment Has your family never met your friend to see that they dress more masculine?

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Nope, the wedding will really be their first time meeting my family and my fiance's family as they won't be able to attend the wedding shower or bridal shower/hen party. I met them my 2nd year of university, which was 4 hours away from my parents' home, and due to them not having a car until this past year (I've already been out of the house for the past 3) I would always travel to see them so they have never met. My parents know of them and know that they are a good friend of mine and a lesbian (something I made sure to clear with them before I said anything when we first started to hang out because no one wants to be the person outing someone), but other than that I never really shared anything about them to my parents other than activities we did when we hung out because their business isn't my parents' business. Also, dressing masculine in the day to day and wearing a suit when you are a "bridesmaid" aren't exactly the same level in my experience. (experience being my sister who is a butch lesbian, she's out to everyone and doesn't care who knows, who dresses extremely masculine in the day to day and semi formal events, but always defaults to dresses and the like for formal events such as weddings, balls, and our cultural gatherings.)

View Quoted Comment Just because your sister defaults to more girly attire for weddings and such doesn't mean your friend has to be comfortable in dresses. Everyone has their own comfort level.

At my friend's wedding that I stood up in, her "person of honor" was born female, but also exploring gender. They wore the same suit as the groomsmen. Likewise, the groom had a "best woman", his sister, and she wore a dress the same color of the groomsmen suits.

If your friend feels more comfortable dressing masculine, and you're fine not taking them up on the offer of wearing a dress to match, if recommend they buy the same suit as the groomsmen. Unless all your bridesmaids are wearing different styles, then a jumpsuit would blend in perfectly. Not sure how the blazer jacket with a jumpsuit would look though, but if you go that route, I'd say it should be the same jacket as the groomsmen. A random extra blazer will look messy and out of place in a line up.
You can accommodate to make sure your wedding party is comfortable, but they can accommodate your accommodations by making sure they match everyone else.

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I know, that is the whole point of why I asked this thread. They never said that they were uncomfortable wearing a dress. In fact I included the fact that they said they would wear one if my answer to the suit was no before I even gave my answer. They were asking if a suit was an option. I said no. They said that was fine. I offered the jumpsuit option and they were happy to have another option. They asked about the suit jacket on top of the jumpsuit and I said yes so long as it matched the groomsmen. They plan on ordering both options and wearing whichever one they feel the day of the wedding. You asked why I said no and I gave my reasoning. You then continued to try and change my mind about where I am at with the situation when that wasn't the point as to why I asked my question. My only question was if I was a B for saying no to the suit (I thought I made that clear, but looking back I can see that I didn't) which from our conversation I'm drawing that your answer is yes I am. Thank you for your opinion.

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All the bridesmaids are picking their own dresses from Azazie so I also thought the jumpsuit would blend in nicely while still being accommodating. The one that we found from Azazie would look bomb.com with the suit jacket and I'm really excited to see it if that's the look they choose to go for (they are ordering both their favorite dress option and the jumpsuit to choose day of which to go with). I guess my main question was whether or not I was being a B for saying no to the suit, but the last thing you said was exactly what they told me the last time I checked to make sure they were truly okay with me saying no to the suit. Thank you.

View Quoted Comment I don't think you're a b. I just think your family and his family's opinions shouldn't matter as much as your friend's feelings and if they can't keep their opinions on others gender choices to themselves for one day that's pretty sad.