Does this plan work? Or should i change some of it?

So my fiancé and I recently moved to a new state and we’ve only been here a month. I would say we are like 80% settled in here and there are only a few things left we still have to do. Our original plan was to have an elopement ceremony (with our immediate family) in our new state and large reception exactly a year later in our old state with all our family and friends. Seems simple enough, right? Sorry, this is gonna be a long one.



Due to money and stuff, we decided to rethink the plan. Currently we are set to do a little mini “elopement” with just us in our new state, since it’s super easy. We planned on just signing the papers the same date as our reception, taking photos that same weekend. And then we also planned on visiting our immediate family only the weekend after to celebrate. And then we would still have the reception a year later. I’ve still been bouncing various ideas in my head about our large reception. Should we do it still? We already have a venue for it, so we might as well. Should just say “nope that’s it” and have our plan, cancel our other reception and just be done with wedding stuff? I want my friends and his friends to be a part of the celebration and the rest of our families too, but it comes down to money.

Then there’s the whole, changing my last name thing which I still haven’t decided on. Due to my many medical issues and many doctors offices, it would be easier if I didn’t and just did it socially only. And thens there’s getting the photography (twice). One for our elopement pictures (which I have no idea how fast that would even be) and one for the reception. And there’s the back of my mind saying, should we just scrap the plan and just wait to get married at home with the reception and pay for an extra 30 minutes to have a short ceremony. Or there’s the whole, “don’t tell anyone that we got legally married and do the whole pretend thing” but I’m well aware how the community feels about that. (Even though no one in my family cares if we did that way because we’ve had other members do it in the past)

And throughout this, it’s been, eh. Like I’ve been a little lonely. Don’t get my wrong, my fiancé is apart of the planning and is active in our decision. I just have a very indecisive brain. I tend to think all the possibilities all at once and overwhelm myself. I just don’t know what is the best decision. The reason the plan at the beginning exists at all are for three main reasons, we just want to get married to each other and we are tired of waiting, I don’t have any insurance except medical and I want my partners good benefits, and three we are both super uncomfortable reading the vows we wrote to each to our entire family (he is more than me). I don’t want to just cry so hard I can’t even read them, because I will. And we are very private with our emotions, so it’s just not something we would like to do. Throughout this, I’ve never really felt like a bride to be. Maybe it’s because I’m not doing things traditionally and kinda all over the place. Or maybe it’s because I won’t get to do all the stuff first time brides get to do. It’s just kinda weird. What I do feel is that I’m already my partners wife, just not legally.

Again, I just don’t know what the best way to do it is. What are your takes on it and what would you do?