Destination Wedding: Can we say “no Kids”?

Hi Natalie! Many couples are having 'kid free' weddings nowadays, and it's not unheard of!

To answer your questions honestly:

Yes, it's fine to invite guests that have children to your wedding and still expect them to not bring them. As long as you send STDs and invites out at the appropriate time, they will have plenty of time to plan for sitters, family helping etc. The only exception I would ever make to this rule, are couples that have newborns, children under a year old (but this is my personal opinion).

Second: Most would probably say that it would be a tad rude to ask them to pay for a babysitter if they have to bring their children, especially if it's a destination wedding and they will already be spending a large sum to attend. My suggestion, although it could get pricey, is to hire a sitter for those that are bringing children. I wouldn't flat out say "we're providing a sitter for those that must bring children", because then that would make it a free-for-all. If it's an option, I would wait until RSVP's come back and if anyone comes to you both with concerns, or says they have to bring their kids, then that's the time to get a children count ready and hire a sitter.

Personally, if I was invited to a destination wedding, regardless of how old my child was, I would leave them at home, or stay home if it was a nursing baby. I don't consider destination weddings to be a 'family vacation' opportunity, and kind of find it rude when guests assume that's what it will be. Your guests are invited to celebrate your marriage, NOT hang out with the family sight seeing and vacationing.

This was a lengthy response, but I hope I helped a little!

Forgot to add!

To avoid confusion when you send out STDs and invites, address it to ONLY the couple. Not the entire family. That's how my FH and I are doing it for ours!

We had a child free wedding except for the flower girls, ring bearer, and a 5 month old and 90% of our guests had to travel at least 1.5 hours one way for our wedding. Those with children left them with family or friends for the evening then went home after the reception was over or the children spent the night at the family or friends' house. Given that your guests will be traveling pretty far for your wedding, I would give them plenty of notice that children will not be invited so they can make arrangements for their children. I will say newborns/under one years old are a common exception to the no children rule. I am currently expecting our first child and two of our friends had to move their weddings until next October because of Covid so now we are facing the choice of what we will do with our 5 month old because both weddings are supposed to be kid free and we not sure if they would be willing to make an exception for such a young child. If not, it is likely I won't be attending one of the weddings because it is across the country and I can't exactly leave my daughter for several days since I plan on breastfeeding and she will rely on me for food. However, my husband will be attending since he is a groomsman in the wedding. The other wedding is only about an hour from my house so my mom will likely watch our daughter for the day as I will pump ahead of time so she has enough food for the day until we get home. If you have anyone in a similar situation as me then that couple may choose not to attend if you aren't willing to make an exception for such a young child. I also wanted to say that while you mentioned hiring a babysitter that some people myself included might not be comfortable leaving their child(ren) with a stranger.

No kids is perfectly acceptable! I'd do the exact same thing in your situation. In fact, I've never been to a destination wedding before that wasn't adults only. If people want to bring their kids, that's what babysitters are for. You can also offer to help them find a babysitter if you're not providing one. If people do bring their kids along, I would expect some to attend only the wedding or just the rehearsal dinner + wedding and not the farewell brunch, but at the end of the day no kids is up to you.

I am a mother of 8 and my cousin is having her destination wedding in Mexico and it's kid free. I am not attending due to it being 2 months before mine, However she is hosting a I do BBQ and we are attending that instead

There is NO way you should say no kids to a destination wedding. Yours thankfully is in the states, but lets say it's in Mexico, Jamaica, The DR, etc... would you leave your kids with a hotel sitter/day care there? A child that can not speak? Would you be okay putting the burden of leaving your child, we lets say is not of speaking age..so under 3 with your parents who are aging back home across the sea? IT IS RUDE TO SAY NO CHILDREN IF THE WEDDING IS OUT OF THE COUNTRY OR ACROSS THE COUNTRY. If you are having a wedding within 3-5 hour drive...you get a pass, because the parents could be home the next day.

Yes, this is fine for local weddings, not ones where the parents would need to leave their children and take flights.

How did you word this on your invites if you dont mind me asking? We want to suggest leaving kids at home but understand some will have to bring them. Our daughter is our flower girl but I will be having a sitter take her after the dances. I am just wondering the best way to articulate this.

This post was from 3 years ago. You would get more feedback if you started your own thread but the proper answer is you don't. Invitations are addressed to those invited and inclusive, only, never exclusive. Language such as Adults Only is inappropriate, IMO. FYI, There's nothing wrong with your own daughter being an exception. Children can be invited based on their relationship to you just as adult guests are.

OP wasn't actually having a destination wedding. That means a wedding that is not local to the couple or either family. It's not a DW just because most people have to travel. In that case, It's up to the guests to decide whether or not they can attend if their children aren't invited. An alternative is to hire sitters for a nearby home or space. In that case you can contact those with children to ask if they might need or make use of that resource.