Hi all,
I could really use some objective perspectives here. I will try to keep my language as neutral as possible.
My friend asked me to be a maid of honor for her destination wedding in Japan. I accepted. She also asked another one of our friends, so will have 2 maid of honors, and three bridesmaids.
She is also planning another wedding/"after-party" locally in Ottawa, where we all live, for those uninvited to or those who cannot attend the destination wedding.
Shortly after my friend asked me to be her MOH, I got pregnant. My husband and I wanted to try ASAP for a child mainly because I am over 30 and also because my mom has terminal cancer, so I want my child to meet, let alone form a relationship, with my mom.
The baby will be 3 months old come wedding time, and my husband and I decided it would be too much (financially and logistically) to attend a wedding in Japan. We are also trying to buy a house (we are currently renting a basement apartment).
I asked my friend if we could meet up, as I was hoping to let her know in-person that I couldn't attend and I had a gift I wanted to give her. Our schedules didn't align that week, but she mentioned her fiancé would be home, so I figured I could talk to him, as the RSVP deadline was approaching. I drove to their house to speak to her fiance and drop off the gift but he wasn't home. I left the gift at the front door and sent my friend a 10 minute voice note explaining remorsefully why I could not attend her wedding, and that I would love to talk it over in person when we can find the time.
I didn't hear back from her. Over a week later, I messaged her to check in, apologize again for missing the wedding, and asking if she'd like to get together in person. She responded back saying she was extremely disappointment, but it was expected, and that "she has her own views on the situation." I'm not quite sure what she means by this, but she agreed to meet in person in a few days to discuss.
I'm very upset by the situation. I'd also like to point out that, before declining the invite, I reached out to the bride letting her know I was planning a pre-wedding event at my family cottage for a weekend, where we could celebrate her and her husband-to-be a month before the Japan wedding.
I would appreciate everyone's opinion on the matter so that I am ready for whatever she throws at me when she comes over to discuss her views. Perhaps I should also mention that my husband and I recently went on our honeymoon in Aruba, so perhaps she thinks us not being able to afford the wedding is just an excuse. Anyways, please let me know your thoughts.
