Destination Bachelorette/bridal Shower help!!

Help!


My brother is getting married in August to a wonderful girl and she has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. I am honored and touched to do it!
She reached out to me in January with an idea to have her bridal shower and bachelorette party over Memorial Day weekend in California (where she is from and where most of her family/friends live). I currently live in the Atlanta area. I told her it sounded fun and that I couldn’t wait to hear more info! As the months went by, the plans were never really solidified. Her sister is the MOH and I haven’t heard anything in our bridesmaid’s chat about plans, expenses or anything. Last week (end of April) I finally received an invite to the bridal shower in the mail. Keep in mind there is still nothing about the bachelorette party. I started pricing out how much the flight, potential rental car, and hotel would cost me, and it is just not in my budget right now. Especially considering they are getting married in Maryland, so I will need to allocate money for the wedding weekend (which in my opinion is more important). Not to mention I have no idea what is happening with bachelorette party and potential costs associated with that.
I called my future SIL to express my regrets and let her know I just didn’t see being able to attend the bridal shower/bachelorette party with my current budget and that I was really bummed about it. She proceeded to get very emotional and upset, began to cry etc. After hanging up with her she told my brother that she is really hurt that I am not attending. He now is offering to pay for half of my trip just to avoid her feelings being hurt. Even just half is a lot of money! Again I don’t fully know what the plan is or what the budget for the weekend is!
Now I feel a little upset like I am being guilt tripped into spending money I don’t really feel comfortable spending on a plan that hasn’t been clearly communicated to me. Am I in the wrong?! How can I navigate this situation? Any advice is welcome!