Covid wedding & family planning

I think it’s fine to have a baby first but the thing is you might not wanna underestimate how much time it could take to conceive and get pregnant

View Quoted Comment Oh yea I know it. Especially after seeing so many young ppl struggle to conceive I know it may not happen right away. I went off birth control this month and we have decided that If we don’t get pregnant by August I’ll go back on and we’ll pick up trying again after the wedding! I just worry that they now may not be the best thing. But I mean you’re never totally ready to have kids. Idk I guess I just want something to. Go right for me I know having a baby will be the best experience ever. But then I also don’t know how our parents will react us getting pregnant right after postponing idk lol

Honestly, I’d be very concerned about getting pregnant before there’s a vaccine. You both are young, I wouldn’t rush it. Please talk to your doctor.

View Quoted Comment That’s a valid concern. But even once a vaccine is available I would not get it ( no I’m not an anti vaccer lol) unless I have to due to work (I work in healthcare) I appreciate you bringing that point up though. waiting practically two more years to start a family is such a bummer. That’s so far away

View Quoted Comment We’re not sure if we’ll get it either but I’d be very worried being pregnant and going to doctor appointment and into a hospital right now. ☹️

I wouldn't worry about a vaccine right now. Realistically, there may never be a vaccine. Vaccine development is incredibly difficult and we have great scientists working on it, but it is a serious challenge. Prayers that we do, but I don't think holding your life up for it is necessary (just my personal beliefs). There's also private OBGYN offices not in hospitals that would come with less risk, if that was a concern.

As far as the timeline, I think you can start trying to get pregnant now. I've seen many babies at weddings before and it's always adorable (but I love babies so maybe I'm biased). I don't think having a baby at your wedding is the worst thing in the world. The biggest issue I see is that your post only mentions having a baby before or after the wedding, but not being pregnant at the wedding. Your dress could be a complete non-issue because you're very pregnant and the dress just won't fit. I would be more concerned about that than about having to find child care.

...Your parents are quite young, and I don't think you should do anything just because they want grandkids.

It can take 6-12 months to conceive without any help, and planning a wedding on top of having a newborn could be pretty exhausting.

If *you and your fiance* want a baby now, then go ahead and start TTC. But if you are doing it for your family, it's the wrong reason.

I think you can start trying whenever you want, but as others have said it may not happen right away. Or it also could happen way sooner then you think! I got married in September 2019, we did some “pre-work” to start trying (regular doctor visits, research, etc), and then I stopped taking the pill in January... found out I was pregnant in February. We were really excited about it, but covid has definitely changed prenatal care and I would 100% make sure you know that if you do get pregnant now it’s going to be different than what you would normally experience.


It’s probably going to depend on where you live, but a lot of states still have pretty strict regulations even as they start reopening. My husband hasn’t been allowed in to ANY doctor appointment or ultrasound that I’ve had, we likely will not get to have a baby shower, we haven’t been able to see any friends or family... and probably won’t until a few months after baby is here. On top of that the number of doctor appointments that I even have is far less than normal because I’m low risk and they are trying to keep me from being exposed in their office. I feel like at this point with a potential second wave I’ll be lucky if my husband is allowed in the delivery room.

You should have this conversation with your doctor. They will have the best input on recovery time, if it is safe to have a baby during a pandemic, health factors, fertility, etc.

I agree with all the input already provided, but most especially that, after gathering input from your medical provider, this is about what you and your partner want/are ready for. As a potential grandparent myself, personally, rushing to get pregnant because parents want to be grandparents is one of the worst possible rationales I've ever heard for deciding about the timing of family planning.... The realities of a pregnancy and early parenthood in the middle of a pandemic? Yep, I would definitely talk with a doctor about that. Having a baby while relocating and/or potentially changing careers? I'd also think long and hard about that...especially in a terrible employment market. Trying to guess about how pregnancy timing might align with wedding or other plans? That is always a crap shoot (took us 8 yrs to have our miracle baby...). There is a lot to consider, but I'd take your parents' desire to be grandparents out of the major factors. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment It is not just for our parents. We want kids and have always wanted them. I also just know our parents aren’t getting any younger lol

View Quoted Comment Oh my smh I’m sorry you’re hubby hasn’t been able to come with you to any of your appointments that’s awful. I hope things get better so he can be there when baby is born. Have you guys thought about doing a drive by baby shower? Those are super cute! Or will it be too cold by then?

Just to make things clear. Making our parents grandparents is just one reason not our sole reason. We have always wanted to be parents and we talk about starting a family nonstop. I’ve wanted to be a mom as long as I can remember. I also know that it probably won’t happen right away and am okay with that and prepared to put things right back on hold so I am not pregnant at our wedding. As far as covid I honestly don’t think it’s ever going away. We will just learn to manage it. Thanks for all the input. We just hate that our plans have been derailed. As for now are still hoping to move this fall if the job market allows.