Covid vaccines, tests, guests, vendors

My friend is getting married this year and she is asking all of her 200 guests to either show proof of their vaccine or they have to get a COVID test right before. She isn't asking anyone to wear masks but they can if they want to. The venue she is at left it up to her about masks for her guests and vendors. I am getting married next Feb and I am kind of considering doing the same thing. But by then I know a LOT more people will be vaccinated and I know that most of our family and friends will go get the vaccine. So I am still myself trying to decide if I am just not going to say anything at all or do something like what my friend is doing.

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Thanks for sharing Kelly! I find it so helpful to hear what other brides are doing.

Do you know if there is going to be a person "checking" proof of vaccination or negative test at the door at your friends wedding, or is she mostly asking people to do those things and then relying on good faith that they are following through and taking their word for it? Also has she had a conversation with her vendors about requiring the same of them? I'm curious if I can ask my point-of-service vendors if they will be vaccinated or requiring vaccines or negative tests of their staff.

There are lots of questions that have been asked about this recently; you might find more answers on some other posts in addition to your own.


Personally...and I've said this on other threads...I think requiring a vaccine to attend a wedding, and having someone check at the door, is invasive and inappropriate. Guests' medical history and medical choices are private. I would not go and that would probably damage my relationship with the person. I am a BM in an October wedding, and if it comes to that that's going to be a difficult conversation to have.

A similar post has been circulating and people seem to be pretty split on their thoughts. I think asking for a negative Covid test is reasonable but asking for proof of vaccine is not for many reasons:. medical, religious, uncertainty (does it truly protect against new variants?).

Hey hey! Our wedding is in Jan. 2022 and we aren't requiring our guests to do any of that!

We just find it to be a breach of privacy, and inappropriate to ask them to show proof of getting vaccinated and/or asking them to get the vaccine and proof before coming to our wedding. Test results are another story, but we still don't plan on asking them to show proof of that either, or plan on requiring guests to get one in order to attend.

If things still aren't better by then, then we just plan on supplying hand sanitizer and masks for anyone that wants to use them!

My wedding is October 2021 and on the website we are going to encourage people to get the vaccine or get tested 72 hours before the wedding. We will also encourage people to wear mask. I think asking people for their personal vaccination record is inappropriate. My wedding isnt for a while so if things change, we will adjust the plan.

Hi Kari. Well in NYC it mandatory to get a covid test before the event. I feel good about this because we'll feel safer and I'll have peace of mind knowing FH's older relatives will be fine.

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I was thinking along these same lines - request that guests are vaccinated or quarantine beforehand, and rely on the good faith of our guests to respect our wishes or decline our invitation. I feel like it would be invasive to require any sort of verification from guests about their immunization record, and our event is small enough that we will likely know who is vaccinated just from conversations. Others have suggested a negative test within 72 hours of the event, but this alone isn't really sufficient as those tests are just a snap shot in time. You'd need to have a quarantine is in place between when the test was administered and the time of the event for this to provide an accurate measure of safety.

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Oooh thanks for that insight! I wasn't aware of any jurisdiction doing that requirement for events like weddings. I have seen it with airline flights and students going to college, and private events choosing to require it, but not any municipalities/counties/states requiring it. Our state hasn't updated wedding guidance/requirements since June 2020.

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I know I'm always googling for updates lol this started March 15 . . who knows if by my wedding date there will be changes. Hopefully not because we don't want more than 85 guests which is what we're allowed now (our contract was for 120).

View Quoted Comment We are attending a wedding/reception next month and the website also indicates social distancing/sanitizer is available but that is it and I appreciate being treated as an adult. I know the risks and can make my own decisions.

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So she is having them send her a picture of the proof when they RSVP, That way she doesn't have to worry about it at the door. She also said all of her vendors agreed to get COVID tested and they are actually wearing masks which was their choice. Her vendors said if the vaccine becomes available to them beforehand they will get it and can show her proof as well. I think you could definitely ask them!

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Thanks for sharing!

I had a forum about this as well, that I asked to close off because it got too political. We are doing this! We aren't sure how we are going to enforce this yet, but I think it is the only way for us to have a semi-normal wedding. Our wedding is in August.

I know a few people on here said they found this idea invasive or rude, but I honestly do not. I am not asking people to disclose anything about their health conditions etc., simply get vaccinated to get a test. If you can do neither, then please don't come!

I think when the virus began to ramp up, people who said they were requiring tests were met with the same type of pushback saying it was too invasive, and now it's almost common practice!

good luck,

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While I can appreciate the "let everyone decide for themselves" mindset, the problem I find with this type of response is that it is very self-oriented and does not consider how those actions may impact others. Whether or not one is taking Covid precautions (whether that means vaccinating, wearing masks, social distancing, etc) is less about them as a individual and more about the collective responsibility towards a group. You, as a wedding guest, will likely have no idea if other guests are at risk, have compromised immune systems, etc (and not all of these individuals may be able to be vaccinated). You may decide you are willing to take some risks for yourself, but that doesn't give you the right to endanger other guests who may not be a similar position. If we were talking about a non-communicable ailment that could be obtained from an environment but not passed to and from other people, this would be a completely different scenario. This isn't like someone deciding not to wear sunblock because they don't feel its necessary and they "know the risks" of skin cancer. You getting a sun burn doesn't impact anyone else, but having and spreading Covid can, in a very dangerous way. It's very possible the couple hosting this wedding doesn't have any VIPs who are high risk and has chosen to go with a slightly less precaution heavy event as a result, and they are at least notifying all their guests of this. As someone hosting a wedding event, it is important to me that ALL my guests are safe, including the vulnerable ones, and we have some VIPs who are indeed more vulnerable. If that means a more carefree guest doesn't want to attend my event because my Covid expectations seem invasive, they are certainly welcome to decline my invitation. I would much prefer that then have their actions my loved ones at risk.

I feel like a couple hosting any wedding event should clearly indicate what their expectations are for guests. Guests can then either choose for themselves whether they would like to attend the event and abide by the hosts requests, or they can choose to decline the invitation if they feel the hosts requests are inappropriate or don't match their own ideology. I know my participation in events these days is very much dependent on what safety precautions are being taken. I choose not to attend events that don't "meet my standards" for safety and what I consider to be responsible and what I feel comfortable with right now. I appreciate when event hosts indicate "masking, social distancing, and outside" as much as I do when they are clear that there will be 20 people eating indoors in a small restaurant without masks, that way I know what to expect and can decide whether or not to attend. Guests can only make the decision for themselves when the host is clear about what is expected of them. So I think transparency is the best policy all around, regardless of where on the cautious-carefree spectrum couples fall.

Thank you very much for your comment, as it helps clarify to me how important I feel it is to be be transparent. I feel that whatever we do, I want to be very clear with our guests what we expect. I appreciate you chiming in!

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Thanks for your response! I agree with you. I feel like setting clear expectations and being transparent about the precautions you are taking and the behavior you expect from guests is completely appropriate. Guests then have the information to decide for themselves whether or not they want to attend your event. I don't know if we would "verify" anyone's vaccine or test status, but I feel pretty certain that I would say "this is our request, please abide by this if you decide to attend our event."

We have a handful of high risk guests and some guests that have very legitimate reasons to not be vaccinated at this time. I feel like everyone would feel safer knowing those precautions are in place. And our event is small, and our friends tend to have a similar mindset to us, so I don't think this will be a stretch for anyone. We will not be offended if guests choose not to attend our wedding because they weren't willing to comply with some basic safety expectations.

Hi! Im a NY bride and we have to follow what the state guidelines are. Thankfully we are less than 50 so for our wedding size they don't require mandatory testing nor proof of vaccination, but if that were a factor it would be on the venue to verify that. I get what people are saying about it feeling like a violation of people's privacy, however when their ability to run their business is on the line, the vendors have to follow whatever guidelines are in place at the time. I would recommend checking your states guidelines and just know they may change as your date gets closer. If it is mandated by the state, people may not like it, but they will understand that its not within your control and they can make the decision for themselves. I would say just include it in the information you send with invites (such as directions and room blocks) and be as transparent as possible. You can't control others actions but if they chose not to attend, remember that is on them.

Kari, thank you for sharing your thoughts on the vaccine and the collective responsibility we all have to keep each other safe. I think in the excitement of wedding planning, it can be easy to forget about the extraordinary circumstances we're in and the responsibility we have to each other to do the best we can to keep everyone healthy and safe.

We're having an October wedding and I haven't made a decision yet about requiring and/or verifying vaccines. I think this decision will be heavily influenced by state guidelines and what my venue and vendors request. Considering the way people take selfies with their vaccination slips, I don't believe it is a gross invasion of medical privacy, but it still feels weird to ask to see it. I might just do a check box or something on the RSVP. I don't know, I just want to do what's best for our guests, especially our most vulnerable guests.

BTW there's an article about this on WeddingWire! https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/can-you-require-covid-vaccine

The tricky part of asking proof of the vaccine is the fact they’re saying it is only effective for a couple of months... so if people got the vaccine in March, but wedding is in October, well, doesn’t do anyone any good. I don’t think there is a perfect solution to this, sadly.

I fully agree that we have a duty to keep each other safe, and I trust as a guest that state guidelines are being followed when I attend an event (in my most restricted state of CA, that means standard mask, social distancing, sanitizer both indoors and outdoors), otherwise the venue/vendors are risking their business. If these basic guidelines are not being followed, I have the freedom to leave if I'm not comfortable.


This also leads to the remark about letting adults decide for themselves and knowing risks refers to vaccines and Covid tests. A vaccine only protects the individual and no one else (there is no evidence it prevents transmission) and a Covid test is only reliable if an individual quarantines from moment tested until event.