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Melissa
Savvy September 2023

Cost frustration

Melissa, on September 17, 2022 at 9:24 AM Posted in Michigan Planning 2 8
I understand weddings are expensive. Unfortunately I've had one before. I don't have the luxury of a family with property and understanding neighbors where we could do more DIY and I understand how having to get a venue effects costs. I actually just recently left my part time side job (3 jobs was getting to much) at a high class hotel who does weddings, and actually was where my first was. I understand what goes into it. But I am so frustrated how unreasonably insane some of the quotes are that I'm getting. A lot of places won't publish their proces so it means a lot of back and forth to rule places out, especially because even if I'm very direct in my messages, they are not always immediately forthcoming with the costs. I get that's part of the work and not really a big deal, but when I'm getting info back about "couples already lined up to book out to 2024 as soon as the new pricing comes in next month," I feel super stressed to have all my info and be ready to book like...RIGHT NOW.


We had a venue all picked out. For the ceremony and reception it was going to be around $16-17k for everything including alcohol and catering. Fairly reasonable. But then they decided to hop on this boat of event minimums for their 2023 pricing and changed it on their site after having already given us cost lists. So the minimum was going to be a few grand more than the actual final cost. This new trend of event minimums is actually the reason I had to exclude my hotel this time. They didn't have those before. And as with other places, the event minimum was above what the cost would be for our invite list. We started looking elsewhere and found another reasonable venue, but we have to find another place to do the ceremony if we go there so trying to find a place.
Anyway, I was kind of hoping to find a place that the ceremony and reception could be done to not have the stress of coordinating with two places releasing booking schedules at different times, but I'm happy to do it to stay within cost. But just to price compare, I reached out to some other venues and the quotes keep getting more insane! I was quoted $23k at another place, $30k at one today for a barn and that doesn't include any catering or alcohol. I understand compensating venues for staff time, food cost, facility use, ect, but I wish people would stop paying such insane prices, especially for places that don't include any catering. I know they don't care, because there's other couples already lined up to take our place and pay those prices, but we just can't. People who don't have resources to DIY on someone else's land or insane amounts of money shouldn't have to be priced out of having a nice day with their closest loved ones. I get that it's just business, but some of these places are going to continue asking above reasonable market and unreasonable event minimums if people keep paying it Smiley sad
I know some folks may disagree with this or have other feelings about it. I know some folks will say have a smaller wedding or you just have to save for it. But with a large number of siblings and their kids having them there being important to my fiance, that's tough. And it would be rude to ask people to travel for a wedding and not feed them. Of course saving the money is important, but I'm just frustrated by how unreasonable these venues are making wedding costs nowdays. Even beyond reasonable expectation of inflation.
I know this really accomplishes nothing other than maybe venue owners and couples thinking about the ballooning of wedding pricing. But at very least, thanks for allowing me to vent. I'm sure some others have faced similar frustration in this process and at least know they're not alone in that.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Jessica, on January 1, 2023 at 5:08 PM
  • Melissa
    Savvy September 2023
    Melissa ·
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    Side note, this trend of event minimums basically kind of says we're not interested in doing business with people with under 200 guests, so we feel they should pay just as much even though they're using less resources and food >.> the facility fee should cover usage for anyone regardless lf party size. Why does there have to be event minimums when they've already considered cost for food cost and staffing in their other prices?????
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  • Holly
    Savvy September 2024
    Holly ·
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    What are of Michigan are you in? If it’s south east Michigan there’s a spot we considered that was reasonable. However, i think they said they can only accommodate 100 people. We are having 80 and went with the colony club downtown Detroit but are using their petite ballroom. Because the minimum is lower and we didn’t need the grand ball room anyways. They are an all inclusive venue.
    I understand that lowering the guest list isn’t an option, but are you dead set on a Friday or Saturday? Sunday prices are normally cheaper. Or maybe in the off season. A friend of mine got married about 7 years ago the Saturday before Easter and got a huge deal because it was before the holiday and In the venues off season.
    Weddings are definitely a racket!
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  • Melissa
    Savvy September 2023
    Melissa ·
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    Definately some good thoughts! We looked but a lot of the venues that could accommodate 150 people either didn't offer Sundays or it wasn't a significant difference. And we didn't find any place of that size that had off season prices.


    My parents are gifting some help so we found a place to do it, but in general I'm just sad that it's such an insane cost for people to be able to gather family together for a celebration, especially with a large family.
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  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I would rather have a food and beverage minimum with a large group than a flat rental price. 30K to rent a barn is foolish, even in an area of low competition. I'm comparing to NYC costs, views, and city salaries. I would not believe other couples are fighting for these venues. . . I hope you find something that works for you.

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  • Melissa
    Savvy September 2023
    Melissa ·
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    That's kind of what we're going towards. It's still extremely expensive, but better than those other options. We were hoping there was going to be a way to rent a place and do it on a budget, but we're finding out it's not possible in this area. We don't have enough help or a free venue without difficult restrictions. Having catering, rentals, ect all separately is much more expensive than an all in one type place. Fortunately we're being gifted some financial help, so we'll get it figured out. But in general, it's disgusting that this is what the wedding industry has inflated to. And people do pay it, even the barn. They have bookings already on their schedule. Sounds like NYC might actually be cheaper than Michigan lol. Funnily enough, my fiancé is from NY and he was saying we should go there for that reason. But the problem is all his family is siblings and nephews, and he has a lot. I have no siblings. Most of my grandparents are passed or home bound. My mom would have trouble making that trip with her condition. Basically most of my family members are old or not close enough related that they're going to be on board with a destination wedding. No one would be able or want to travel for me like people would for him. It would sure save money though in that case lol.

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  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I understand. I tailored my spaces to where my mother could travel comfortably. We even had it at a hotel, so she (and others) could rest between my church ceremony and reception. Could you consider non-traditional venues such as libraries or theaters? They should have event spaces, or you could consider a restaurant brunch reception to lower costs. Here are a few other sites WW posters offered:

    https://www.venuereport.com/

    https://www.tagvenue.com/

    https://www.eventective.com/

    Good luck!

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  • Melissa
    Savvy September 2023
    Melissa ·
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    Thank you! I was just looking for venues again and not coming up with any luck in searches or wedding websites. Our ceremony site is probably about to fall through and I'm stressing. Unfortunately I looked at all of these and found nothing. There's only one result which I already knew about that might work, but the only catch is, we'd have to do all the setup ourselves a couple hours before our wedding, and then we'd have to do all the teardown and cleaning ourselves before 5am right after the wedding. Unfortunately we're not going to have the help. We have a lot of out of town guests and a lot of in town guests are elderly. A lot of places that offer wedding ceremony sites at a reasonable price ($1700 or less), will not rent the space unless we also go with them for the reception and their reception price is not reasonable. We're having an impossible time. Venues are to small, to expensive, or to far. Heck the place we plan for the reception, the reception is more reasonable, but they want $3500 just for the ceremony! All they do is set up and take down chairs! And we're discovering that a church ceremony which was our original idea may wind up to be a problem.

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  • Jessica
    Savvy October 2023
    Jessica ·
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    Omg yes, girl! Literally so many places around us have said they won't accept an event under 150-200 people. Like absolutely not? I don't have that money, and even if I did, I still wouldn't want to invite that many people??? I feel for you.
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