Church Dilemma

I guess you have a couple options:

1. Only attend church with family/friends who can block the man doing this inappropriate behavior, or loudly point it out when he attempts to do it so other people see and hear it.

2. Talk to your pastor, I don't think this is a bad thing. You should feel safe talking to him, you aren't being rude you are just wanting to feel comfortable in your church.

3. Go to a different service or different church all together.

Thank you! I have tried being rude to this man as well and he still continues to be weird with me. I'm afraid that if I talk to me pastor and it gets out that other church members may judge me since this man is well liked in church. I'm close with my pastors wife I had thought about confiding in her.

I would confide in her immediately. The longer the behavior goes on, the worse he will act. The fact he feels comfortable hugging or kissing you at all is a HUGE problem. Can your fiance not say something to him?

I have yet to tell my husband because I know he is going to fly off the handles.

I'd tell him immediately! This is something your husband absolutely must know and needs to help you deal with.

Thank you!

Ok thank you!

Agreed! Tell your pastor and/or his wife, and TELL YOUR HUSBAND! If he were to find out in a different way, how do you think it would make him feel? He will probably be sad he has been in the dark thus far. Definitely find another church if necessary.

Tell someone immediately! This man is a predator! He is making unwanted advances toward you, married or otherwise. He is seeking you out in the parking lot where you are alone. He is harassing you. He may not stop even if you reject these advances. Worse he could escalate to assaulting you. Go to the church pastor/his wife/church elders and tell them everything you just posted and then tell them if it happens again you are reporting it to the police. I do not take this lightly, no one touches you without permission!

1. If you can't talk to your pastor without being judged, you are going to the wrong church.

2. If you don't say anything, the creeper will not stop. He may even be doing this to other women as well. Be the one who makes a difference.

3. He may be mentally ill and need help. The Christian in you would want to help him get the mental health treatment he needs. The only way to do that is to talk to church authorities who can help guide him.

4. Make a choice for yourself. Will you be a strong woman or a victim? You can't control what others do, but you can control how you will react to it.

If you make the choice to speak up and help yourself, other women, and (if he needs help) a mentally ill church member, you can walk tall knowing you have done all you can in His eyes. A church that would call you a liar, tell you that you are imagining things, or sweep it under the rug is not a church you should be attending.

I saw this meme the other day and I think it applies to your situation perfectly:

This is borderline stalking. The fact that he had a wedding program of yours has me very worried - it sounds like he wasn't invited but was there at some point...not okay!!!

Don't let it go further like I once did (mine was also a fellow churchgoer who was very popular...now is in jail and not very liked). Please talk to your Pastor and his wife as he has authority in the church. Consider attending another church for the time being.

Thank you so much! not sure where I got the wedding program from.

Thank you so much for the advice!

👍🏻 Your sisters stand with you.

I honestly think you should consider going to the police before the pastor. This is harassment and it's a legal issue. If he treats you like this again, tell him you will be reporting him and follow through on it. It doesn't matter what ANYONE else in the church may think of you for doing that, you need to be safe and you need to stop his predatory behavior. And honestly, if he's well liked, it must be by people who've never realized what a creep he is.

Thank you so much for your kind words!

From what I understand from another church member he has a criminal background but not sure exactly what he did in the past.