Child care - opinions?

In all honesty, you're being very generous by offering to pay for childcare. You don't even need to explain your reasoning. My wedding is 'no children allowed' and the parent's invited know that their childcare is on them to arrange. And I think most of them would be more conformable with that than provided childcare. So if it were me, I would go with the cheaper option!

The distance isn't a huge deal to me, but I also don't have kids LOL

As a parent, I don't know that I would go for the childcare you're offering, just because I wasn't able to vet them myself.

While the usual babysitter may be attending the wedding, if I really wanted to go but couldn't bring my kiddo I'd figure something out. The parent that's not blood related to you could have their parent's watch, or they may have a friend they can rope into watching for the night.

Obviously everyone's situation is different, but I think if you really don't want to have kids there send the invites that way and see who kicks up a fuss.

As a parent, I would not feel comfortable with the 8 minute walk situation and would probably only use your service if it were right next door. This is a super duper nice thing you're doing though and I appreciate the thought. It would be nice, especially if lots of the kids know each other bc they're family.

Edited to add:

Are most of these families local? If I had to travel this is a phenomenal option, but if it were local, I would probably try to find my own sitter and/or coordinate with the other kids parents to make sure we were all sending kiddos to your provided place.

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Our families and friends mostly live in the same locale, but they don't know each other at all (I know this sounds very weird, but our families are just 100% separate) so I don't see them coordinating with each other. From my experience, kids tend to get along nicely together, and all of our loved ones' kids are in the same age groups (we have six who will be in the 5-6 age group and seven who will be in the 8-10 age group) so I figured it would work out that they'd have people their own age to be with. I'd be a lot more hesitant if we had a huge scattering that seemed like someone would be left out (like several who would be 4-5, but then one who would 7, and the rest all 9-10).

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I considered that, too. But I also figure that's what cancelation policies are for - have it available by RSVP by a certain date, and if no one wanted to use it, cancel. Being out a $100 deposit with the knowledge that I at least made the offer seems worth it to me.

But then again, these are all very close family and friends, so I suppose I could also just ask them if they would use such a service in the first place. They may all throw me a curveball and say they'll just leave them at friends' houses for the day (or half-day, really, as our event will be over by 3-3:30pm), and I'm worried for no reason.

I personally would not drop my children off to some random babysitter that is not within a minute walk.


We did an adult only wedding and there were a few people who could not attend due to your mentioned reasons, but at the end of the day, I could care less... As long as their children were home safe with them and I had my kid-free wedding!

If your event is no children allowed, it's up to parents to arrange their own childcare. That means that some may decline because you aren't allowing their kids to participate. Even if you offered childcare, some parents would not think it applies to them. Others don't feel comfortable leaving with a stranger no matter how certified they are. Be consistent and not have flowergirls/ringbearers/infants, even though WW feels they are exempt. They still are children and no children means exactly that.

While you are generous to consider offering this, it really is the parents' responsibility. Save your money for something else.

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Thank you for this. There are definitely no ring-bearers or flower girls - I agree, it definitely has to be all or nothing, or else feelings will be hurt.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to weigh in for me. It seems that this would likely be poorly received, no matter how well-meaning, and possibly even if I splurged for the closer venue. This is exactly why I asked! I'll trust that people will try to find a way, and understand if they can't.

Your wedding is in 2023 - your lived ones have PLENTY of time to figure out child care. Depending on your budget, I don't think it's necessary for you to provide child care. I have children and my family members all have children. I am having a "no children" wedding with the exception of mine and my siblings kids and a groomsman who will have a new baby at the time of our wedding. Otherwise it gets too expensive. And honestly, it's nice for the parents to have a night out.
If it's not your vision to have kids at your wedding, then don't have them there. I'm not going out of my way for anyone who has kids to get them child care. Take it from a parent - parents can get child care. Even if its normally grandma, especially with 2 years time to figure it out.

Loved ones *

I think it’s really thoughtful of you to provide childcare since you feel bad about not inviting children and want to take those families with kids into consideration, but as mentioned above I do think that most parents might opt to arrange for childcare on their own anyway. It’s just a comfort thing and knowing who they’re hiring to watch their kids.

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You are generous with your want to offer and consideration for parents. I am a parent and would find my own simply because I know who will be watching my kids.
I have been to a number of weddings where child care was offered with the expectations that the kids would not be in attendance....kids were still at the reception. If you want a child free wedding, do not invite children. Still be prepared to address “no kids” with some because not every parent thinks the rules apply to them.

If you’re going to provide childcare for the wedding, I really think it needs to be AT the wedding. If there’s not a space within the venue itself , I’d skip this idea. People can find alternative child care, or may decide to skip the event if they don’t want to and that’s okay too— it’s their choice!


I had a child free wedding, for similar reasons. There’s a million kids, especially among my cousins, so it’s just too many people, takes over the party, and most importantly I have no relationship with them— many wouldn’t even know who I am. Everyone sorted their own stuff out. Actually, a group of my cousins got together and left their kids together with an older relative (one cousin was traveling from far away so wanted to have their kids around for the rest of the visit , so she sought to see if she could arrange something)— they organized it all on their own, and it worked great for them. Another cousin debated bringing their in laws along to watch the kiddos (since my aunt and uncle were at the wedding too), but ultimately they decided to leave the kids home with that cousin’s MIL.I had only and exactly ONE person who didn’t attend due to childcare, and in that situation it was because of a very last minute issue. This one just isn’t your responsibility! It’s a lovely offer, but since it can’t be on site, I just don’t think it’s worth your effort, since many won’t be comfortable with that arrangement

It’s very considerate you are considering offering this to your guests however I would opt not to use childcare I didn’t hand pick for my children. If given enough time to find childcare any one who truly wants to attend the wedding should be able to whether it be family from the child’s other side of the family, other friends or a trusted babysitter.