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Fmv
Super October 2020

Ceremony in church but not members

Fmv, on July 19, 2019 at 9:11 AM Posted in Planning 0 10
We are throwing around the idea of having our ceremony in a church.
Problem- Hes Lutheran, I am Catholic, we also dont belong to a church.
Will a church allow us to get married there if we arent members? How would we go about this?
What was youe experience?

10 Comments

Latest activity by Marc, on March 28, 2024 at 10:02 PM
  • Christine
    Expert September 2020
    Christine ·
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    It depends on the church! Some will let you get married if you aren't members and some won't. I'd ask some of the churches in your area what their policies are - it really varies a lot.


    In my case, I grew up in the church we're getting married in but no longer live in that state. They only allow people with a membership connection to get married there, but because I grew up going to that church and my family still goes there, that was enough for them to let us.

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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    Depends on the church, you'll have to ask around. If you want just the aethetics of the church and don't mind what denomination then a UU church might be the most open to it. I've had friends with good experiences in them.
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  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
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    Depends on the church. Where I live the Catholic Church is struggling for members, especially of a younger generation. They expect thousands will close in the next decade. As a result, we were able to basically pick a church as our wedding ceremony venue even though we are not members. This was the case for most churches in my area although some of the more gorgeous churches have strict policies that you have to have been a member for at least 12 months prior to requesting to marry there. I think they get a lot of requests because of their aesthetic appearance so they are frustrated by that.
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  • Melissa
    VIP October 2018
    Melissa ·
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    I echo what everyone says - it will depend on the church. I can say that I had always thought I would get married in my grandmother's (very traditional) Catholic church. It's beautiful, I was raised Catholic, attended this church with her while she was alive on occasion, etc. My husband is "I don't know...some kind of Christianity, we aren't really anything." (his words). This particular church would not have allowed us to have our wedding there unless we were both practicing Catholics and members of the church. So we ended up not doing that, obviously. So I would say just contact the church and see what their rules are.

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  • SraDeCarrillo
    Super August 2019
    SraDeCarrillo ·
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    Try a unitarian universalist church. They are basically a church that is open to anyone no matter faith. They even welcome LGBTQ weddings with open arms unlike some other churches.

    “Most Unitarian Universalists believe that nobody has a monopoly on all truth, or ultimate proof of the truth of everything in any one belief. Therefore, one's own truth is unprovable, as is that of others. Consequently, we should respect the beliefs of others, as well as their right to hold those beliefs.”

    The ones near me have beautiful church buildings for rent as well as church halls, auditoriums, parlors....its a huge space and all for rent. See if there is one near you and it wouldn’t be a problem if you and your FH are different faiths.


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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Some definitely allow you to get married there without being a member. You can find chapels too.
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  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
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    The church we married in is sort of a sister church to the one we attend. Hubby was technically still a member of the one in Delaware we were wed in. But we had to get a letter from the parish we attend in Chicago to state that we have been attending regularly.
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  • Meghan
    Super September 2019
    Meghan ·
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    As everyone said, it depends on the church but there are definitely churches out there that will let you get married there if you're not a member. Non-members may just have to pay more than members would. That's the case at the church we're getting married at. If FH wasn't a member there'd be extra fees that are waived for members.

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    My DH and I got married in a church where we are not members. We don't go to church either but I really liked the aesthetic of the church and still wanted a Christian ceremony. The church charges $1500 to get married there which includes the pastor, ceremony coordinator, pianist, rehearsal, and premarital counseling.
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  • Christine
    Dedicated April 2020
    Christine ·
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    Wr had the same issue. Here unless your a member then you cant get married in the church. They also require you to go through counseling with them .
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