Ceremony help!!

I could see it being just fine to have your real ceremony in Scotland with an officiant or minister. Then you could do the paperwork marriage in the state afterward. The state mostly just has interest in your marriage for its legal purposes and is not a true party to you joining spiritually. Sure, the state version still implies the spiritual union -- and is real in that sense. It is of secondary significance to your real joining in holy matrimony. When moving through the marriage in this fashion, you actually avoid a conflict of having married someone before doing the state paperwork since the state does not (likely) recognize the marriage in Scotland.

The order doesn’t matter. If you want it to be legal in the US, then the main ceremony need to take place there. Because the vow renewal takes place elsewhere, you don’t need an officiant and can find a pretty location and exchange vows on your own. If you do get someone to perform that ceremony, be explicitly clear that it is not a legal ceremony at all. If you don’t, especially when people don’t even travel overseas but decide to have a fancy vow renewal after a private legal ceremony and tell their vendors that the big public event is their wedding, then those vendors are operating on good faith that they are not being lied to and that it’s the legal ceremony. Especially when an officiant is hired because they lose their license and ability to perform any ceremonies indefinitely on the basis of fraud because the couple is not clear and honest that they are already legally married, so the officiant files an additional license which is not legal, and they are the ones who suffer the consequences, not the couple for being dishonest. That doesn’t take into account how guests feel and respond, usually in the negative, when they find out that they were not told the truth about the couple already being married.