Cash Fund

Generally asking for cash from guests is going to come across rude to some.

Some not-so-well-informed boomers may think it's rude, but etiquette on this has evolved as families have evolved over the last 10 years. People are waiting longer to get married, so they're less likely to need the household basics couples historically would register for. (As I said to my mom: "I'm 35. You don't think I have a dish rack?")

Nowadays, it's more likely that a couple would need help with a down payment on a house.

Register for what you need rather than junk you don't. If you're still uncomfortable, register for only a handful of things you actually could use. People will take the hint.

View Quoted Comment We have an Amazon Registry with a small handful of items if anyone wants to gift to us something more tangible. Thankfully we don't have an overwhelming amount of these etiquette dilemmas within our families though. We're not being pushy about gifts either - it will just be on our website with a nice note.


We're set on doing the registry this way. My question is, what are the opinions of other brides/grooms on the Zola platform itself in regards to a cash fund registry?

View Quoted Comment We are not begging and pleading with people. We simply have it, plus a few physical items, available to gift if they choose to on our website. Gift giving in both families is simple, practical, and Never Required (no harsh feelings attached).


I'm more looking for pros and cons of the site itself on how the Newlywed Fund works.

You asked what the cons are, so people will tell you. Asking people for money will come across as tacky or crass to a good number of your guests including today in the here and now. It doesn’t matter that it is not “required.” Unless you’re the victim of poverty or a disaster it’s considered inappropriate to appeal to others for cash.


A registry is supposedly your own reference list of things you need that people have to search for or ask about. The idea is that the couple is not asking for gifts at all. That premise doesn’t work with cash and only comes off as both gift and money grabbing.
Practically speaking, there is a cut the services usually take, plus the fact that the dedicated funds are less than transparent or honest since couples get cash that they can use for anything whatsoever.
Common wisdom is if you aren’t in need of anything tangible then there’s no need to register at all. People who want to give you a monetary gift on their own can figure out how.

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I've found cash funds to not go over well. They've been done at several friends' and family members' weddings, and they've all said it was a waste of time because hardly anyone contributed to them. I think most people would rather gift cash or a check to the couple, knowing they will receive the full amount, instead of providing their financial information online and having a portion of it taken out for fees. With the exception of older generations, most people know that if there is a very small (or no) registry then cash is a good gift. We didn't register at all because we didn't want any gifts. Most people still gave a card with money anyway.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for sharing. I'm asking about the pros and cons of the logistics not the emotional ties. The percentage acquired by the website company is something to consider for sure, thanks.

View Quoted Comment Oh ok, that's definitely something to consider. Thanks for your insight!

The last few weddings we’ve gone to had specific items on the cash fund, and that has been super popular. (And all the weddings I’ve been to in the last five years either did no registry or cash registries). I guess it’s harder with a house down payment since that can’t really be broken down into different things, so I agree that it might just be easier to have a limited registry and let your guests just stuff cash in cards if they want. But if there is a way to break it down into funds for specific items, a lot of people have fun picking which item or event they want to contribute to. So far ours has been very closely aligned with our guests’ personalities, which I didn’t actually expect but their notes/comments have been very entertaining.

The main con, as someone said, is that they take a percentage for being the middle man. Also, yes, older generations tend to find them off-putting, and those are also typically the same folks who write out the more generous checks. Depending on your social circle, most people give cash/checks anyway. We had a registry of upgrades (we already lived together for years) which most people used for the shower. No one, except for 1 person (who went off-registry anyway) brought a physical gift to our wedding. Everyone gave us a card with cash or a check in it. No cash fund required. Cash funds tend to be at best unnecessary and at worst offensive. There really isn’t much of a pro for them to be honest. They tell people you want cash, which people already know is a good gift.

Skip the cash registry and allow guests to give money the traditional way, cash or check. This cuts out the middleman and fees and isn’t viewed as “tacky” or “gift grabby.” When sending thank yous, you can let the person know that the money will be going toward your new home!

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Cash funds are incredibly rude and tacky. Asking for money in any form is frowned upon. If I see a cash fund I make sure to buy a physical gift.

People do not need to be told that cash is a good gift. If they want to give you money, they know how to do it.

Keep in mind that even if you could not care less about etiquette or emotions the risk of people thinking less of you can have consequences and that IS a logistical consideration. When people feel they are being treated as an open wallet they may be a lot less likely to go out of their way for you, now or in the future.


Again, this advice is not out of date. Weddings are not fundraisers.

With Zola “cash” registry, there’s a small fee to transfer the funds to your bank account.


This is different than guests purchasing or buying gift cards through another type of registry.

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Even if you were doing a traditional registry it’s better to keep it to a link on a website with no direct language coming from you. That only makes it seem like you are personally asking for gifts whereas a link is more objective and removed.

Of course that is exactly what most people are doing when they make a registry but it’s more polite not to be so obvious. There are still couples who don’t register at all because they aren’t thinking of gifts or who only register for the completion discount or a way to keep track of what they need but unfortunately they are in the minority.

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No need to be disrespectful to a whole generation. Perpetuating stereo types is harmful.

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What I find disrespectful is people who think that cultural standards haven't changed since 1970 and then use their outmoded ideas as an excuse to make judgements about the character of others.

And I'd also suggest that some boomers are well informed, hence the qualifier. It seems that you think everyone from that generation should be painted with the same brush. Talk about harmful and disrespectful!

Again this post has nothing to do with the emotional ties. BUT everyone please understand there are different family expectations and different cultures all here in WeddingWire. In my family they like to know what their financial gift goes towards (honeymoon, home down payment, etc) and it is common practice to display. It is, however, WELL known that money or any gift is not necessary. Neither asking for, nor choosing not to give, is frowned upon by anyone. All generations in my family like this idea.


All this being said, we have decided to ditch the Zola Newlywed fund in order to avoid any fees. We will include our Venmo link (and maybe QR code for the techy people?) with a nice note. And of course a thoughtful thank you card sent afterwards.

View Quoted Comment What makes you think everyone who thinks asking for money is tacky is a Baby Boomer?

This is a lot less about changing cultural standards and a lot more about some people wanting what they want. I only can recall one couple getting married in the last five years who blatantly registered for money and know people of all ages who consider it inappropriate. If it was so acceptable everyone would do it.
Unfortunately, OP supplying Venmo info unsolicited is an even worse idea. If you’re going that route it’s not a huge stretch to just putting your hand out door to door. As PPs have said people who want to give you money can figure it out.

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My comment in no way excludes other people from being out of step.

Certainly it's plausible that in areas of the country where getting married young is the norm, couples' lack of life experience makes them more vulnerable to their parents' old-fashioned ideas. Nonetheless, this is not the standard.

By the way, I feel sorry for that couple who faced such harsh judgment from their "friends" for registering for what they needed instead of -- what? A 12-piece set of bone china? Designer picture frames? A panini press? A Target wall hanging that says some variation of "live, laugh, love"?