Can we invite some guests to a virtual ceremony, then to an in-person reception?

Are you getting married at the justice of peace? Or is it your FH wants a more intimate moment (which sounds awesome btw)? I think if it it is for that intimate moment, than have your immediate families only and have everyone else watch virtually. I'm sure this will be hard for some people, but it is what you all want. Then throw a big party to celebrate as mentioned. I'm curious how this will work out as I love the intimate moment idea.

View Quoted Comment We are getting married in a church, but he wants a more intimate experience. We both have a few friends and relatives that would be extremely hurt if they were only invited virtually, so unfortunately, having just immediate family won’t work. (We would be sad not to have those friends and family, too.) Also, some people will be traveling and I wouldn’t expect them to do that just to watch the ceremony online and then attend the reception only. It’s complicated! Haha!
I’m considering sending out the virtual ceremony info to just those I know will not make it to either celebration so they can still “attend” (mostly out of state and country), then have our few chosen for the ceremony, and then simply invite everyone else to the reception without mention of the virtual ceremony at all. The reception-only guests are people who will simply be glad to celebrate with us and won’t be offended about not being invited to the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment Oohhhh!! 🤔🤔🤔 I like it actually. Having those who mean the most there with you is very nice. I love this idea.

You should not pick and choose which guests are invited to events. Everyone should be invited to all. Otherwise, it’s rude. That’s like saying you are good enough to come to our reception and not the ceremony.

If you want an intimate ceremony and a larger reception, it really should just be immediate family. If you’re set on this plan, I wouldn’t have a virtual option for guests not invited to the ceremony. They’ll be busy getting ready for the reception and virtual ceremonies really should just be for if family members can’t make it/you’re getting married in a far away destination/Covid restrictions.

One guideline for etiquette is to not treat some guests differently than others. The exception is the wedding party. So having only some of the group to the ceremony sends the message to the others that they are second best, which risks hurting feelings.

If you really need to do a small ceremony, the only way that would really work is just immediate family at the ceremony and no virtual option at all.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. That’s because they are not good enough for the ceremony. Many would prefer to not be invited at all than to be invited to only one or the other. This is why ceremony and reception are held back to back on the same day with the same guests at both. Anything different is impolite and inconvenient. The only gap should be driving time to the reception.


“Catholic gaps” are rude and inconvenient because guests should never be left to entertain themselves for hours and no one goes to a hotel to nap or shop in formal clothes. If the reception venue doesn’t allow for an earlier start time then look elsewhere. Countless venues are available to start anytime but that means you have to sacrifice an all inclusive venue which not everyone is interested in nor they can they afford.
Etiquette still exists during covid.

This is a tricky one as I think it really could hurt people's feelings and even damage your relationship with them. If you can invite everyone I recommend doing that but maybe also offer the virtual option (it makes it the guests choice then and not like you are picking and choosing plus with covid some people might appreciate that option ). Personally the wedding ceremony is my favorite part of a wedding I would be sad to be excluded from it knowing other guests had been invited (strictly immediate family is a little different). Good luck to you and congrats!

View Quoted Comment I agree with most of your comment, but Catholic gaps are not inherently rude as long as you communicate to guests the time of various events. People who are used to going to Catholic weddings are used to the gap and are generally not bothered by it. I've been to weddings like this and people went to coffee shops, bars, happy hour at someone's house, etc. The dress code for these events was Sunday best, so it's not like you couldn't go out and about in those clothes.