Bummed about not having a Bachelorette Party

When you ask people to do multi day bachelorettes though you need to think of finances, time off of work, kid/pet responsibilities etc etc.

If I understand correctly they are planning a party for you? Is the issue that it's not a destination?

Also just as a heads up, usually you don't plan your own bachelorette. If someone wants to throw one for you, they do it as a gift to honour you.

Sounds like they're gifting you with a party. I would suggest go and have fun!

Also your expectations of your wedding party is two fold. 1. Get the requested attire 2. show up and pose for photos. This is your chance to honour your important people. Not the other way around.

I can fully appreciate that you are feeling a little bit disappointed because the dream bachelorette you had envisioned isn't feasible but any event that involves people other than yourself needs to account for the circumstances of those involved and the outcome accepted.

I think it is really lovely that your bridal party have nonetheless planned some sort of an alternative bachelorette and I think that speaks volumes about how much they care for you, whether or not what was planned was a stereotypical bachelorette.

Shake these feelings off and go and enjoy the plans they have otherwise made for you.

Remember: You still want to have friends after your wedding's over.

Honestly, a multiday out-of-town bachelorette is a lot to ask, and it sounds like your friends can't swing it.

A surprise party sounds really thoughtful -- be sure they know how grateful you are.

I understand - social media has really made the multi-day destination bachelorettes with all the glitz and glam seem like the norm these days and it is easy to become envious of that. It makes traditional one night bachelorette parties seem disappointing or not enough. Remember social media is fake and doesn't show the whole picture (like how many people can't swing it, the stress of planning it, the financial toll, that perhaps the bride is paying for most of it), and this is definitely not the norm. Planning a surprise bachelorette still takes time, effort and money to plan and I think it's nice that your friends are trying to still make it happen for you. I hope you have a lot of fun when the weekend comes!

It's not on them to "make it up to you". Your expectations did not match what people were willing to do.

The point is they aren't doing anything wrong by not attending the bachelorette you planned for yourself. I feel like from your other comments that you planned this out of town multi-day combined bachelor/bachelorette party.

They are making a party in your honour. It might not be good enough for you, but that's what's on offer.

You have a choice. You can stew in your own disappointment about this or not. Nothing you think internally is going to change anyone else's choices.

"The thing is that my bridal party knew a year in advance where I wanted to have my Bach".

This doesn't matter. I'd love to have my next birthday in Tahiti.

Your plan was about as realistic as my Tahiti plan though, right? Since the result was the same.

These elaborate multi-day bachelorettes go downhill all the time. Have a look a few posts down where someone else is essentially in the same issue.

Check your expectations, or your resentment may end up resulting in harming your relationships. You want to feel gracious and grateful, I would think?