Bridesmaids Responsibilities

You have to understand that although you should be able to turn to your bridal party for a simple task if you need help, they are not obligated to until the day of the wedding. A lot of times couples think the bridal party is some type of wedding planner and throw responsibilities onto them when they don’t want to deal with it.

To be honest, it sounds like maybe you should consider hiring a wedding coordinator/planner. They are professionals and can get everything planned and organize for you and take that stress off the table. You want to avoid assigning wedding planning duties to your bridal party. Your wedding party should be titles of honor – not unpaid labor. That means all they should really have to do is show up on the day of your wedding wearing the appropriate attire, and stand next to you in support.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Yeah i think i meant like help with idea and stuff not tasks haha but thank you all

I wouldn't assign tasks but you can always say on Sunday I ll be putting together the invitations if anyone wants to come by and help I ll have snacks and beverages out. It's important to remember that your friends and family in your bridal party have their own things going on too and you don't want to overload anyone. That said our bridal party is constantly offering assistance which has been such a help and super fun.

View Quoted Comment Yeah our friends are the way! Thankful, only difference is when they asked us what can they help with we didn’t know what to say haha so that’s why I thought to come here and ask.


we mainly just wanted cool ideas that we can all bounce off of each other for the wedding. Like my MOH had a cool idea for the table numbers and such. I’ll keep everyone posted on the lil packages we put together for them. We still have some time til the big day so we should be fine 😊

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Aww thats really sweet of your friends, you can always say what would you like to help with when they ask what they can do. Or just have them over one night and brainstorm ideas if that is something they are excited about doing. You just don't want people to feel obligated or forced into anything. I was putting together my invites with my mom and his mom one weekend and his brothers' gfs and some of my bridesmaids asked if they could help us. It turned into a really fun day and we made a brunch out of it. Have fun!

View Quoted Comment That sounds lovely! All the planning and DIY stuff is so much fun. Thanks so much for your feedback Rosebud 😊

I don't think you need to assign responsibilities to your wedding party. Asking people to stand up with you is meant to honour them and how important they've been to you in your life. I'm sure they're happy to help, but your wedding isn't for more than a year.

I wouldn’t assign responsibilities but it’s always okay to bounce ideas you’re toying with off your bridesmaids if you need opinions. I’ve done that with my one bridesmaid (I only have one) and because we’re good friends she’s never had a problem helping me make a decision on something but I’d never ask her to do a task for me that should be my responsibility

Don’t spend money on proposal boxes. Talk to your ladies over a coffee date or a phone call. Be very clear with expectations and expenses when you ask them so they can an informed choice to accept or decline the position.


Bridesmaids don’t have any responsibility beyond purchasing a dress of your choice and showing up on the wedding day to support you at the ceremony and have fun at the reception. No one needs to be in charge of anything. Are you wanting them to help plan the wedding? That is your fiancé’s responsibility. If you need help planning, hire a month of coordinator.

Ok I didn't read about a budget or too see the type of style dresses you want to wear. Along with shoes hair styles and accessories. So is this your proposal box and no need to put anyone else in charge. Because doing that will start up some tension between the girls. You are in charge of your vision as for them its either they accept or decline begin part of the wedding. They should be by your side on your wedding day.I'm the only 1 who makes the final decision choice now I did listen to there thoughts and styles when we all went to pick out their dresses. And etc. Congratulations to you both I hope that everything comes together for you

Nicole,

I disagree with the popular WW that you should not do a proposal box. I did big boxes for my bridesmaids which included gold plated earrings and necklace (usable not just for the wedding), a matte black tumblr with their names on it, a gag gift for the bach, and a pair of QUAY sunglasses (getting married on the beach). I'm also purchasing their dresses for the day of.

IF you are expecting your bridesmaids/bridal party to step-up majorly for you (taking on responsibilities) I would 100% cater to them. Make sure your gifts to them are actually things they will want and love. Also, be incredibly upfront with what you're expecting, INCLUDING COST:

Ex: I will be having a bach at x location with estimated cost of x, bridal shower on y, and wedding on z. My expectation is that you are present for at least the bridal shower and wedding, but if you cannot attend the bach I completely understand.

Do not expect your friends to throw you parties. You will be let down. Plan on organizing your events with your girls and keep everyone in the loop. Understand that it's likely that 1 of them will fall through. Be prepared to NOT be mad if you're asking a lot financially.

Hire a day of coordinator for the wedding day. As a MOH that got schlupped with that responsibility because my bride didn't know to get one, my day sucked. I was mad. Don't do that to your girls!

View Quoted Comment Yes i think that’s what I really meant. Is the bouncing ideas and stuff because I keep going to my MOH for her opinion on an idea 😂 and i feel like going to different people in the Bride Squad would help. I had one of our bridesmaids tell me “not to leave them out of anything” and they keep asking my fiancé and I what should they help with and we honestly couldn’t give them an answer. But I think we’ll have a lil get together, brunch, and bounce ideas off of one another. We’re blessed to have such great and supportive friends and families. I’ll be sure to update you all! Thank you for your feedback

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!! And yes we sent out lil cards for the proposals for them back in December LOL i know we probably sound crazy. But now we were gonna send them something to keep them updated on the progress. So i was thinking the fabric swatches and theme & such. I just didn’t know if we should let them know anything else or have them involved in the idea process too? Thank you so much and Congrats to you too! This should all be fun

View Quoted Comment Omg! Thank you for your feedback! Reading some responses I wasn’t sure if I phrased my question correctly haha. But I think you understood what I meant and I appreciate your insight 😊 We felt like we were leaving our “Bride Squad” out of the loop and we didn’t know how to keep them all updated especially if they kept asking. But I love the idea of putting cute lil nic naks in the packages for them!


You mentioned a bridal shower and I think we’ve made the decision not to have one. We’re basically just having the wedding and reception. I’ll for sure keep you updated with the packages too! Thank you again!

What I did was design these little sheets with the info, had them printed at CVS as 5x7" magnets, and also printed little "bridesmaid" and "maid of honor" to-do lists online so they could use the magnets to pin the lists on their fridge, etc!

Then I added some fun gifts like a mirror, lipstick/chapstick keychain holder, mini bottle of champagne, bridesmaid/MoH champagne flute, cute bar of soap, cooling gel under-eye pads, some "Wedding Cake" indica since that's 100% legal here lol, and a card expressing what their friendship means to me.

View Quoted Comment Omg this is soooooo freaking cute and creative! Absolutely love this! I hope you don’t mind if I snag this idea haha obviously I’ll switch up the aesthetics but i love this. Thank you Valerie

View Quoted Comment Omg absolutely feel free. I got the idea from Pinterest and then decided to make mine into a magnet and to add a checklist (which I screenshot from another Pinterest pin lol). So I can't really claim it all as my own idea. I also LOVE doing things like this, so if you need help with the Photoshop/designing let me know

Here is how it looks on a fridge!!

View Quoted Comment 😂😂 funny you mentioned Pinterest because I immediately starting looking there. And yes will do! I can’t wait to show my fiancé. She’ll love to do some DIY on this too. Thanks again. I’ll be sure to keep ya posted