Bridesmaid Luncheon

Either do it the weekend before or skip all together.

This isn’t a thing where I’m from, but I’d be pretty upset if I was in someone’s wedding and they expected me to take an extra day off from work for a lunch that isn’t even necessary. Just do it the weekend before.

I've never heard of this. Is this like a bridal shower? Either way, there's no etiquette at all that I'm aware of that says it has to be a certain day.

It's a Deep South thing, I didn't know what it was until my MOH said she was planning one. As far as I'm aware there's no etiquette of what day it has to be. If your bridal party isn't travelling for the wedding, there shouldn't be an issue with doing it the weekend before. Then again, it's just another optional event. If your FMIL is insisting on Thursday, just tell her that your girls might not be able to be there.

This isn't something that I've ever seen or experienced, so I can't really comment on what would be right. I can suggest that you ask your BMs about their availability for it, and if they all say the day before or day of would be hard for them, report that info back to your FMIL so she can choose a different time.

I'll also point out that if you're expecting your BP to be with you all morning and day to get ready and take pictures, you should be orividung them with breakfast and lunch the day of. One wedding I was in required to be at the the salon in the morning. The bride and her mom had brunch there for us to munch on while we were waiting our turns with the stylists. For my wedding, the hair stylists and MUA came to the hotel, so we made sure everyone had complementary breakfast downstairs beforehand and had lunch delivered to the room after hair and makeup were done. I don't know what a bridal luncheon entails in your FMIL's mind, but maybe the day of isn't such a bad idea. If you decide not to do it the day of, though, still make sure you and your BP eats!

Thank you for clarifying LibbyLane, I am now learning it is a southern “tradition” that not many people know about.

BlueHenBride, I completely agree with providing lunch the day if so we aren’t going all day without eating. That was another option I was considering. Not necessarily doing a “formal luncheon” but giving them their gifts at the rehearsal dinner the night before (for the day of surprises) and then just providing lunch for them the day of. I do have 2 OOT BMs so I’m thinking just skipping the “formal luncheon” all together is probably the best idea so they do not feel left out.

Your BM don't have to go to the brunch. Make it a family thing.

This is not a thing in my region, and you have to provide a meal while you're all getting ready the morning of the wedding anyway, so I would skip making it a separate, formal event. We gave our wedding party and parents their gifts at the rehearsal dinner, and then provided breakfast in the bridal suite, and lunch at the venue.

What you're talking about sounds more like a rehearsal lunch to me. I would not be able to take the time off for something like that. I agree that the weekend before sounds lovely. Even several weeks before could be fun.

This is a Southern thing. The bride is the one who traditionally hosts it because it is her "thank you" to her bridal party and a time for her to give them their gifts (parents are not usually included). It traditionally is held the day before the wedding, but the timing is not important. This is waning in popularity as more couples are now choosing to use the rehearsal dinner as a time to thank their entire wedding party and give them gifts at this time. I really wanted to have a bridesmaids luncheon but we just could not find the time. We ended up giving our gifts to everyone at the rehearsal dinner and it worked out just fine. We were all so busy that I think everyone appreciated not having to set aside more time for another event.

What is a bridesmaid luncheon?? I have never heard of that before.

For my SIL my aunt threw

her BM luncheon around

2-3 weeks before the wedding. We just found a day that worked for everyone.

View Quoted Comment Ah thank you that makes sense.
OP, it’s worth checking in with your bridesmaids. Perhaps they have the day off anyways?

Thanks so much for the recommendations!! I think we are just going to give gifts at the rehearsal dinner and cancel luncheon all together, I’m just not sure how to make it work! Thanks again for the replies!! 😊

It's a new celebration to me as well. I've had 2 weddings and been in three and never had or held one

Great to know! Thanks so much!!

I’m hosting mine 3 months in advance so I can give them their gifts lol

Most of my Christian (Mother of the bride) friends host the bridesmaid brunch/luncheon/Tea Party for their daughters . It is a special time with a lovely light lunch or High Tea menu where kind words, Bible verses and a devotional are shared. My daughter is very close to her two grandmas, so it will be special to include them in this special day. I will have each of them select a Bible verse, or a piece of marriage/life advice to share with the girls. I will have my daughter's "2nd mother" share a short prepared devotional. Typically, the bride and the bridal are prayed for. I will select someone special to do that as well. I may do that myself, but would love to bring in someone else who knows and loves my daughter well. I will be hosting my daughter's bridal lunch on the verandah of a restaurant the day before (only because that is when everyone will be flying in). I would love to have it at my home, but I selected a location that is closer to the airport and wedding venues. (I live 35 minutes away). A few of the bridesmaids are taking off Friday from work because we also have the dress rehearsal dinner that evening. So, I am hosting it at 11am Friday because everyone already has to be there. I will have the restaurant supply the linens and set the tables all together to make one long farmhouse table, but I will bring my china salad plates and tea service to accompany the restaurant's white plates, so that I create an elevated event. I will have a preset menu selected with a salad with chicken breast, strawberries....There will be fresh homemade bread, iced tea, Arnold Palmer tea, lemonade, soft drinks and water. I will get fresh flowers rom Trader Joes and arrange them into lovely, low centerpieces. We will serve dessert with hot tea in the china tea cups. The mini desserts will be brought out on a tiered tray that I provide the restaurant staff in advance. I will wrap the bridesmaid gifts (that my daughter purchased for her bridesmaids) and place them on top of the salad plate with a lovely script name tag. We will have it early on Friday, so that the girls have all day to enjoy the beaches...in Southern California.