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Dedicated February 2020

Bridal Shower Issue

Lauren, on October 5, 2019 at 9:17 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11

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So my mom is throwing my bridal shower. I know where and when it is and everyone who’s invited. She invited everyone on my list including my fiancé’s side. Unfortunately, none of them have yet RSVPed which I’m not surprised by- they’re the type to just show up. They have a couple of weeks left, I’m not stressing it. As it gets closer I’ll have my fiancé reach out to his family.

We saw his sister today and he asked if she was going. He told her to RSVP. I found out that she texted my mom saying she’s coming and plans on bringing her 9 year old son!!? This is an all women event which my mom told her. His sister said it’s ok, he’ll just play his games. My mom explained he might feel uncomfortable and she said it’s ok. I am so annoyed! When my fiancé was talking to her today, he offered her son and husband to hang out with him that day so they don’t have to travel back in forth since we’re in Brooklyn and they’re in Manhattan. How can this be approached? My mom is dealing with all bridal shower things, I wish I didn’t even know this happened because it makes me so angry! There are other people coming who also have sons but aren’t bringing them. It wouldn’t be fair for her to bring her son when I have other guests who have sons too and this is not a co-ed event.

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Lauren, on October 9, 2019 at 9:52 AM

VIP May 2020
Destiny · on October 5, 2019 at 9:28 PM
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I dont see what the big deal is.. hes a kid.. we're going to have 5 kids at the house when we have my bridal shower its really really not something to get that worked up about
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VIP September 2019
Mrs. Bubba · on October 5, 2019 at 9:30 PM
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It needs to be FIRMLY reiterated to her that he cannot attend so that she can decide whether or not she still wants to attend.

My 4 yo 🌺🙇‍♀️ wanted to go to my 👰🚿, stay at the 🏨 with me after the Wedding, and go with us to the 🏖. She said that it “wasn’t fair” that she didn’t get to go.

Oh well!! That’s life.

Guess who’s still alive in my Living Room right now?!

The 🌺🙇‍♀️ lived after not being included in fun ADULT activities.

Your FSiL doesn’t believe that her 9 yo son will be okay without her for a few hours?

Does he go to 🏤, or is he 🏠 Schooled?
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Dedicated February 2020
Lauren · on October 5, 2019 at 9:31 PM
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She wants him at the party, not the house. I don’t care about men being at my house while the women are at the party. It’s not fair for all the other mother’s who have sons and aren’t bringing them to the party since they understand it’s an all women event. If there’s one boy then I should allow all boys. That’s my issue.
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Dedicated February 2020
Lauren · on October 5, 2019 at 9:34 PM
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I don’t want to offend anyone and I don’t want to be involved in this. My fiancé will be the one to have to speak to her. Her 9 year old son goes to private school and he’s the baby. She does EVERYTHING with him.
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Beginner October 2016
Kia · on October 5, 2019 at 11:24 PM
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Yeah..he needs to make clear to her that their won't be other kids there for a reason, it's an adult event. If you all wanted to be a family affair then other people would bring their kids also. Not sure what kind of crowd your family is but bridal showers can get a little risque or suggestive (with lingerie and other things as gifts) sometimes and I think would make the other women a bit uncomfortable if a young boy is in the room.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on October 6, 2019 at 12:02 AM
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This, 100%. Having a child at a bridal shower, in my opinion, isn't appropriate
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Dedicated February 2020
Lauren · on October 6, 2019 at 8:37 AM
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That’s so true, I didn’t even think of that! Not sure what this bridal shower is rated, my mom has planned it all.
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Master 0000
Judith · on October 6, 2019 at 10:00 AM
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At that age , it does not matter boy or girl. Let him go off with a Gameboy. Not worth a fuss. If she does not have a husband hanging out with the guys, she likely does not want to send her 10 year old where he is under the supervision of grown men she does not know. Meanwhile, I have never been to a shower or hen party where a kid was brought along by one or two people who could not get sitters, where anyone else grumbled it wasn't fair her kids did not come too. Most women who take care of their own families, or have cared for other elderly or sick people, or relatives' kids, sympathize with someone who for whatever reason can't get a break and hire child care. And feel lucky if they don't have that problem. If the kid hangs out with his games and behaves, for 2 hours, no problem. Don't make it one.
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Dedicated February 2020
Lauren · on October 6, 2019 at 12:49 PM
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I’m not creating a problem, I’m asking how to approach this here in this forum because I don’t want any issues. She has a husband which is why I’m confused. The men that will be over are her and my fiancé’s brothers who he knows and he’s always been around. Everyone is different and after reading about what my bridal shower or any bridal shower might entail I definitely don’t want him there. You’re right, my family and the other guests probably wouldn’t grumble about him being there but I still don’t feel comfortable. Thank you for your input.
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Just Said Yes April 2020
Caroline · on October 9, 2019 at 1:04 AM
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I don't think you're wrong for being annoyed/bothered by the situation. The fact that your mother told her/hinted twice not to bring her son is more than enough. Have your fiance say something like "hey the invite forgot to mention that it is an adult/female only event but due to the late notice I would really love to watch your son for you so you can take a break and enjoy yourself for a few hours". If she continues to insist on bringing him then have one of your bridesmaid make a bit**y comment. JK don't do that! But people shouldn't take kids to showers or weddings in my opinion. Guest need to remember who/what they're going for and not what is convenient for them. Don't let one person ruin all of your mothers hard work and sweet intention. Just have fun girl!! Good luck!
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