Bridal Shower Host Gifts

Maybe candy? A small bag of chocolate would be appreciated

I hate to break it to you but unless this is an office shower or something like that, anyone who attends, let alone hosts, must be invited to the wedding. Who are these strangers, friends of your parents? If it’s not a surprise I don’t understand why you had no input on the guest list.

View Quoted Comment I have no relation to three of the hosts. i obviously “know” them because i live in a small town and “everybody knows everybody” but that doesn’t mean im gonna automatically invite them.

View Quoted Comment In that case, you decline the shower. The etiquette rules still apply

View Quoted Comment You’re missing the point. You certainly didn’t have to invite everyone in town to your wedding but if this was not a surprise shower then you are also responsible to let the main organizer(s) know that only those invited to the wedding belong at the shower.


If you are accepting this shower etiquette obligates you to include the three women, related or not. Your other recourse is to say this has gotten way out of control and turn down what sounds like a huge shower if 13 people are hosting. Then let the main planner know you prefer something more intimate, with only your immediate family and closest of friends on a different date.

You'd be best to let the hosts know that only wedding guests should come to a shower. Have the invitations been sent out? Everyone that is invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding, with the exception being a work shower.

Honestly this does sound like a bit of a mess, why are virtual strangers throwing you a shower? I'd be tempted to just say no thanks to that.

Oh no, how did strangers get involved in hosting your wedding shower?? I am thinking maybe your mom included them? If so, you need to have a discussion with your mother about proper wedding etiquette. It is considered poor etiquette and EXTREMELY rude to have anyone attend/help plan a shower if they are not invited to the wedding. If your mother is the one that created this situation, you need to make sure she doesn't continue inviting/involving anyone outside your wedding guest list in any aspect of your wedding or pre-wedding events. Unfortunately, since these people are already involved, they will need to be invited to the wedding.