Bridal Party

I mean no-one gets to dictate who you choose to have in the wedding party. I'm not sure though what her finances have to do with being in the wedding? She only needs to get a dress.

View Quoted Comment I thought they only needed to purchase a dress too, but apparently they also pay for the bridal and bachelorette party and other things.

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That's actually not true. Those are ideas perpetuated by the wedding industry to drive up the costs so they sell you more. If you left someone out of your wedding party because of money, if it were me I'd rethink that.

Having said that, again no-one gets to determine who belongs in the wedding party.

I hope everything works out for you with your family.

View Quoted Comment This is untrue. You are unfortunately misguided on the responsibilities involved in being in your bridal party. It is first and foremost a way to honor the relationship, not a job description or obligation to pay for optional pre-wedding parties that are voluntary to host.


The actual responsibilities involved are to purchase a dress, which BTW is supposed to be in consultation with your bridal party for budget and style, to be there in support you on your wedding day, and help in small ways, for example helping the bride to dress, to arrive on time for photos and to attend a rehearsal if possible. That’s all. Anything more is, as mentioned optional and voluntary. You’re confusing the fact that it’s not uncommon for friends or friends of the family to host these kind of parties with an expectation or entitlement on your part.

View Quoted Comment Nope, this is absolutely not true. The only obligation is for them to pay for their dresses (if you are not paying for them). Not only are they not responsible for paying for a shower or bachelorette party, they are not even obligated to attend those events. It sounds like you were horribly misinformed about what it entails to be a bridesmaid. If this is a cousin you are close to, and the only reason you didn’t invite her to be in your wedding party is due to her finances, then I would say you made a huge mistake. I would apologize to her, let her know you were misinformed about what being a bridesmaid entails, and ask her to be part of your wedding party.

The only responsibility they have is to purchase a dress and show up at the rehearsal and wedding day. Showers and other pre wedding parties are optional. She can purchase a dress inexpensively on Azazie and try them on at home.


I don’t think your reasoning is valid in this situation, but you can do whatever you wish. At the same time, while cousin and her mom’s feelings are valid though overreactioned, no one should ever have been told they were not a bridesmaid or why, because that discussion should never take place. I’m going to guess that you are both young, because the majority of cases where you hear about someone getting upset that they were not picked, that tends to happen online more than in real life, is more common among much younger ladies. Because an equal number of women have posted in past discussions that they do not want to be a bridesmaid ever again and much prefer to be a guest which they find more enjoyable even if they are close enough to be bridesmaid or maid of honor.
Hopefully this can be resolved before family rifts become permanent.

View Quoted Comment I agree with the first part of what you said but in my experience, fair or unfair, feelings can be hurt at any age. I’ve seen it happen plenty of times in real life.

View Quoted Comment I don’t disagree with that. There’s a wide spectrum: some people will be hurt for a few minutes and then move on and others are more sensitive but they won’t end a relationship over it, with everything in between