Bridal Party Woes

It's your choice on both counts, but in your place, I'd include your FSIL. She's hopefully going to be family for the rest of your lives. There's a reasonable chance you'll know her a lot longer than some of the friends you consider close today.

As for your bridesman, if he's primarily your friend I would think he would stand on your side. If there's a connection to FI, either future family or he's also a good friend, then he can stand on either side.

If you don't want to include SIL then don't. You aren't required to have anyone in your bridal party if you don't want to.

As for your bridesman, he should with the bridesmaids on your side since he is a part of your side of the bridal party. For our wedding, we had a bridesman and a groomsman. Bridesman stood with bridesmaids and groomsman stood with groomsmen. The groomswoman did get ready with us and the bridesman got ready with my husband and groomsmen though.

I think fiancé’s brother’s wife is enough degrees where you should not feel bad for not including. It would be different if it was fiancé’s sister. That’s where things get sensitive and it’s almost better to just include than to not (unless their behavior and attitude is horrible). Six people on your side is already a lot in my opinion and is the level at where coordination for things will start to get complex. I had 5 on my side and it was still a struggle to coordinate and talk to each other 😂

I don't think you're obligated to include your fiancé's brother's wife. Uneven sides are fine, and I you don't have to divide things by gender. Have a look at photos of mix gendered wedding parties and see what appeals to you most.

I think it would probably be weird for your bridesman if you ask him to stand on your fiance's side. He's your friend and is there for you. He'll presumably be attending your shower and bachelorette party, if you have them, so he would likely be more comfortable standing with the people he knows.

You’re never required to include anyone in your wedding party, despite what they say. You don’t need to include her. 6 is already a lot! And have your friend stand with you. He’s your friend!